Camden Crawling

Last night I was walking down the road
I was struggling trying to find a happy place to go
When all of a sudden pops up a man
With a chicken samosa and beverage in hand
Funny old man with a gummy smile
With piss stained pants, he had no style

It was clear to me he had something to say
So we both stepped back and said take it away

Come one and all to a festival
I wanna teach you all about the Camden crawl

[S:] Right, so you've just gotta do a standard crawl
[D:] That's all you do, literally on your hands and on your knees
[S:] Wow
[D:] Are you ready to crawl?
[A:] Not at all
[D:] Why not?
[A:] Because it's a stupid idea!
[S:] I haven't done that for ten years or something
[D:] Doesn't matter, it's like riding a bike
[S:] What and they build a whole festival around this?
[D:] Well yeah, it's called the Camden crawl
This is the chorus, this'll make you understand why you gotta crawl
[A:] I'm not getting on my hands and knees
[D:] You've got to
[A:] I'm not gonna do it

Crawl, through Camden
Throught Camden, crawl
It's the place to be, with celebrities
Amy, Doherty on your hands and knees
Crawl, through Camden
Through Camden, crawl
It's the place for fans to see their favorite bands
Sugababes, Lostprophets on your knees and hands

So we're at a gig still on all fours
But we can't see shit kneeling on the floor
Our legs are sore and hands are in pain
What you guys doing, you look really gay

[A:] My hands are so dirty, they smell of like urine and poo
[D:] Come on guys, why'd you stop crawling?
[S:] My knees are bleeding, is it alright if I do the other kind of crawl?
[D:] Well that's the… no… you can't. You can't do that.
[A:] This is the worst idea possible.
[D:] What you standing up for?
[D:] Well I was gonna enjoy, you know, the likes of the very special Sugababes
[A:] I love Sugababes!
[D:] …Plan B…
[A:] I love Sugababes! Don't I say that everyday?
I go “I love Sugababes!”
[D:] Right, then get crawling mate

Crawl through Camden
Through Camden, crawl
It's the place for I to get high on life
Hold hands, watch bands, we can touch the sky
Crawl through Camden
Through Camden, crawl
It's the place to be with celebrities
Professor Green, Plan B, come and crawl with me

Crawl through Camden
Through Camden, crawl
Come one and all to a festival
I wanna teach you all about the Camden crawl