Survivors Guilt

(الألبوم: 2000 - 2022)

I thought I was going crazy, you know?
And like, I realized that I wasn't the one that was crazy
I realized that it's the system that was built against me, you know?
And like, I'm not supposed to be talking about this
And that's the corruption of it, because like me just saying it is absurd
And I want people to open up their eyes and realize that I'm not wrong, you know?
I'm just a open-minded individual and people should be more open-minded
If we tryna build up our lives to have material things
And those don't satisfy our needs, what are we living for?

Yeah, yeah
Come on
Alright

This one is for you, oh oh
This one is for you, oh (it's for you, for you, for you)
This one is for you, oh oh
This one is for you, oh (it's for you, for you, for you)

Steezy told me get 'em so I got 'em (got 'em)
Now my nigga gone, he will never be forgotten (never)
Ever since he left I just been struggling without him (uh-huh)
'Cause I remember linking after school and we'd be plotting (plotting)
Talk about our problems and what we'd do about 'em (yeah)
Journaling and jotting, we ain't know the world was watching (facts)
We was just two kids tryna make it out the bottom (uh-huh)
Now I'm rich and rotten, every day I think about him
It's survivor's guilt, wishing I coulda stopped him
Let alone just know how he feel
Lyrically couldn't top him, he was the nigga with the belt (uh-huh)
Yeah, and that's real rap
I couldn't do this shit without him and that's just fact
You see, if you ain't know Steelo then you really don't know me though (no)
And that's how I separate all the real from fake people (yeah)
All the real from fake fans (uh-huh) who claiming that they stans (uh-huh)
But they ain't know my mans (no) until the very end
Wish he was still here, I swear it feels weird
How people could accuse me for his death sometimes, I gotta shed a real tear (yeah)
You see the truth about Steelo, he lacked the mental health (he did)
But try to tell that to people way back in 2012 (I can't)
But now that it's a mainstream topic
I'm guessing I can finally open up and talk about it so
Yeah, let's talk about it (yeah), come into my mind
I'll show you what the darkest cloud is, you ready? I doubt it
But let's go, you see Steelo was my bigger bro (uh-huh)
At a point in time spiritually we was in the same boat, but
I wanted to take it slow, he wanted to take it
As fast and deep as he could go, pause
Yeah we had some problems but we're brothers though, sure
Then I caught a little wave and headed back to shore
And that's when he started drowning and he had no one around him
So partially I feel it's my fault (ay)
And that right there is my internal war (uh-huh)
The reason why I gotta feel these external flaws
The reason why I can't heal this eternal loss
The reason why I gotta feel this survivor's remorse
And here's a message to his fam
I know y'all got emotional trauma that I understand
But I couldn't fuck with, y'all try to tell the world I wasn't who I am
When all I ever tried to do was lend a hand (that wasn't cool)
And give the fans the thing that they demand the most
King Capital, the fucking GOAT, word
I'm just tryna get my nigga heard
Get him what he deserve

This one is for you, oh oh
This one is for you, oh (it's for you, for you, for you)
This one is for you, oh oh
This one is for you, oh (it's for you, for you, for you)

Yeah
And RIP my cousin Junior B (RIP)
Y'all ain't know too much about him so it's up to me (it's up to me)
To share his legacy with the world
It kills me to think he'll never meet my baby girl (sh)
And when I lost Jun' that hurt me in the worst way (worst way)
He even died two days before his birthday (his birthday)
Damn, that brings tears to my eyes
My nigga really never made it up to twenty-five (damn)
That's why I'm thanking God every time I open my eyes (uh-huh)
At the fact that we alive and we feeling these vibes (vibes)
'Cause we be filling these voids, part of me got destroyed (facts)
When I lost my boys it's like I lost my voice (uh-huh)
It took me all of this time just to put it in song (songs)
Because I'm still dealing with the fact my niggas is gone (yup)
Write they names up on a cloud 'cause that's where they belong (uh-huh)
As long as I live on, they'll forever be known
This one for you

This one for, yeah

This one is for you, oh oh
This one is for you, oh (it's for you, for you, for you) (yo, you'll forever me known)
This one is for you, oh oh
This one is for you, oh (it's for you, for you, for you)
This one is for you, oh oh
This one is for you, oh (it's for you, for you, for you)

Yeah, I'm off to... I'm off to Deliani, Deli Honest
So I'ma make this quick, you know
Pastor black lip back on that shit
True story, look, so I'm in New York for my first time
One of my first times and I'm, I'm playing my, one of my first albums for the big homie
And he got these kids in there, they just on skateboards
I'm like yo that's super cool, this guy got the kids out here
You know, keeping the kids off of the streets, right?
So, fast forward a year later, I go back to New York and then I meet this kid
He's like, "Yeah man, I don't know if you remember me, but me and my homies, the Pro Era"
Crazy, I was like, "Oh yeah? What's your name?" He say Capital Steez
I said, "Okay, for sure"
Fast forward, my boy Doe, called me Doe Burger
That nigga called me and say, "Yo, you heard these kids, the Pro Era? Joey Bada$$?"
I'm like, "Yeah yeah, I met the kid Capital Steez, they crazy"
Fast forward another year and so I'm on tour with Joey
We been 47 ever since man, we got that shit tatted on us man, for life man
Tryna show the move man, you know?
Everything come back around full circle, you know what I mean?