Superlative Heroes

[Sample:]
Faster than a speeding bullet
More powerful than a Locomotive
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound
This amazing stranger from the planet Krypton
The man of steel

[Samsa:]
Yo
I'm not your average superhero
I don't wear a cape or tights
And you won't catch me slinging webs through cityscapes
I'm scare of heights
I'm not your textbook superhero
I can't levitate or fly
But if you pass the Sunday crossword I won't hesitate to try
I'm not the type of vigilante who goes off avenging homicides
More the kind to just correct a coma splice
Constructive criticism super villain
Yes I'm honest when I prompt advice
But even when a novice writes I always leave my comments nice
Leap buildings in a single bound
Y'all should see the way my fingers race
Through city streets and letter keys
Whether double or single spaced
Faster than a speeding bullet
If you're talking words per minute
Write so comprehensive each bullet point holds the world within it
Power like a locomotive
Discipline of Sage strength
Essays that I write are twenty pages past the page length
Not the man of steel but when I sit to write I've got no Kryptonite
As long as I've got coffee I can sip tonight
Call me cyclops
I've got laser vision page revision
Not a next gen X-men
But I'm crazy with the red pen
Muted when I'm writing
Yes my drafts have got evolving genes
Watch me wielding clauses like I'm Wolverine and cause a scene

[Headhaunter:]
I'm not your average superhero
I don't mask my voice like this
Secret identity's dull
I don't see the point in it
I'm not out here to save the world on date night protocols
I just take my pride in sentence structure
Phase right through the walls of text
Polish red a second time
Kind of like Professor-X
But I read the same lines instead of minds until they're all correct
Triple check that proper punctuation ends it
Perfect verbs and fantastic nouns like Ben Grimm
Spin webs of any size and catch a reader's attention
Nab plagiarists like flies
I write with tingling senses
Swing right overhead with lines of Super-tensile strength
Fingers type like streaks of light
Whether past or present tense
I arrive just in time
Type more than Cyborg
Not Robin no red or green underline eyesores
I channel Raven right inside with Edgar Allen Poe
No Green eyes but tackle any beast of rhetoric that you know
They can call me any hour
But they view it as a lesser power
When my essays get an A on top
Like Avengers Tower
In the meantime I think I'll go into hiding
Reckless vigilante with his helmet on still writing