Man, I Love Being Drunk

I can't hold my liquor, would you mind if I held yours?
When I'm sure I've had enough, that's how I know I need more
It's just the booze talking, and it's speaking Japanese
I'm sure you heard me slur my words, could someone come and translate me?
Before I got to it, they called it some-cohol
I'm sure that I will rue it, but I'll still ruin it all
When I'm a solid six drinks in, you'll be a solid ten
These beer goggles are prescription 20/20 double-vision
It's a brain cell genocide, get me a Hitler on the rocks
Wake up on a strangers floor, face covered in sharpie cocks

I'm not sure why they call it a liver, because I'm pretty sure mines dead
Pick up chicks, get whiskey dick, and say "Fuck it, I'm going to bed."

I try to drown my sorrows, but I'm the one who sunk
I always forget why I regret it
Man, I love being drunk

(Breathalize me, Captain!)

I'm pretty sure my BAC's higher than my debit balance
I can't afford this anymore, I'm still on my parents allowance
And even hurricane sandy never saw blackouts like mine
Officer, I'm good to drive but I can't walk two straight lines

I propose a thousand toasts, I propose a thousand toasts
To my sorry, sorry ass, a thousand cheers roll down my throat

I try to drown my sorrows, but I'm the one who sunk
I always forget why I regret it
Man, I love being drunk

Fuck, shit!

God, grant me the serenity and the courage to chase it down
Cause I heard my higher powers gonna buy us the next round

I try to drown my sorrows, but I'm the one who sunk
I always forget why I regret it
Man, I love being drunk
Oh Lord, I said
Man, I love being drunk
Oh my god!
Man, I love being drunk