Spank

(Album: Passive Me, Aggressive You - 2010)

I don't remember the first time
But I think I survived
Probably better not to try to wake up
Because it feeds it 'gain keeps it alive

There's specific things
That I have to do
Day to day
Just to keep it at bay
You wouldn't believe if you knew

([Tom:] Oh, no, this isn't real [2x])

Here is a little secret
Here is the best part
This is going to take me
Right back to the start
If I can keep it
If it set in mind
Wait until it settles
Come try it a second time

I don't remember the first time,
But I think I survived
Probably better not to try to wake up
Because it feeds 'gain keeps it alive

([Tom:] Oh, no, this isn't real)
([Alissa:] Yeah)

Here is a little secret
Here is the best part
This is going to take me
Right back to the start
If I can keep it
If it set in mind
Wait until it settles
Come try it a second time

I can feel it move
Up into my head
It is in the room
Panicking in bed
I feel it coming on
Taking over view
Oh, please not tonight
There's nothing I can do

This is bigger than me
This is in my fear
This is pitiful
I just disappear
Swells up all around me
Swallowed up inside
Sell my senses if it
Would make this subside

I can barely handle
I can pass the time
Staring through the curtains
Up into the sky
Where there is no
Depth perception
Keep preoccupied
Self deception

Nobody recognizes
It doesn't have a name
My brother is infected
He's acting just the same
Screaming like a siren
Up and down the hall
He just wants to stop it
He wants to end it all

I am just a child
I am nothing more
Than the basic functions
I am running from
I curl up and wallow
My distortion
Everything is disproportion

Suddenly I wake
All is back again
Everything is closer
Morning is the same
And I can't hear it
It's way out of mind
I will just forget this
'Til the next time