...And Then I Noticed That She Was A Gargoyle

(Album: Stairway To Valhalla - 2018)

Picking up teens in a "Twilight" chat room
Listening to Adele on my own
One day I met an attractive lady
Whose nickname was Sharon Stone

We shared many common interests
E.g. Medieval architecture
So I took her out for a fancy dinner
Her statuesque beauty took my breath away

And then I noticed that she was a gargoyle
I should have checked the fine print long ago
And then I noticed that she was a gargoyle
She was a maniac, maniac and a gargoyle

How could you be such a retarded moron?
Didn't you check her profile before?

I just read MILF in the "about me" section
I didn't get that "M" stood for "Monument"

Well, it's usual to fall in the trap
Chat with an angel and go out with a crap
But tell me, what d'you mean by "gargoyle"
Was she wrinkly? Was she fat?

No! I'm telling you she was a freaking gargoyle
That thing you see on Batman Begins
She was exactly what you would see
If you'd google "gargoyle"
And instead of boobs she got two black bricks of stone!

And then he noticed that she was a gargoyle
He thought her avatar was just an avatar
And then he noticed that she was a gargoyle
And I also had to pay her cub to Notre Dame

But as I drove back home that night
Her tender snout still in my eyes
Left just confusion in my mind
Is it true love or is it just a crush on 12th century French sculpture?

And then I noticed that I like the gargoyles!
I'll be jerking off on "Batman Forever"!
And now I notice that I like the gargoyles!
'Cause I got maniac, maniac for gargoyles!
I also like Rolling Stones