Duku Man Skit

(Album: Against All Odds - 2009)

[Dappy (Fearless):]
Ayy, what? You wanna quickly duku this ting?
(Aight, go on)

[Dappy:]
Yo, I'm like lately I'm seeing like
Many man-a coming up with funny little skanks and ting but
When I'm on a skanking ting, no lie, I'm on a blanking ting
And if you feel my shit, I'm on a thanking ting
But if you bring a pretty girl around me
I'm on a spanking ting, it's no wanking ting, ayy
See me I'm on a stancing ting, forevermore I shall be the skanking king

[Fearless:]
So if you wanna come hotel, don't waste time (What?)
Only get one chance, don't get nine
Like cartel said, "Mi cocky longer than mi nine" (Ayy?)
So back it up and call me bump and grind
I'm a man, you're a female (Female)
And I hate when a chick make her bum look big on Facebook
But they can't back their roads in up in detail
Don't make your pictures run all your e-mails

[Dappy:]
Yo, I'm a hard worker, but I'm not a grime MC
So anytime I get a day off, I like writing angry lyrics
With my friends reminiscing about the days
When we used to lick a lot of shots on the block and go to girls hostels (Ayy)
Shag them then leave their best friend
You're the shit to my shoe (Waste, uh)
Dad shoulda splashed on the floor, in your mom's face

[Fearless (Dappy) {Both}:]
Hey, if you're a duku man (Ah)
You've gotta be stacking up {duku grands}
No fools 'round here, {no lulus, man}
You man are spooky, {you do voodoo?} (You do voodoo?)

[Dappy:]
What planet are you on? You must be cuckoo
I don't wanna put a thing in Fifi's hands
'Cause he will definitely, make it go duku
Man are supposed to have rules, not lulus
Never have I seen a man run that fast
I'm surprised that he never done a poo-poo
Oi, donut, dickhead, Beenie Man's cousin (Ayy)
They pussy licked, ate more than a dozen
I did ask Tulisa, and she told me that
"I will never shag a man unless I love him"
Zagaza, I wanna be fake ragamuffin
How can you let a likkle man like me make
Two grown men like you start dussin'?

[Fearless (Dappy) {Both}:]
Never talk to the feds when they come, I start {duckin'}
You men are {buggin'}
(Wanna talk shit behind my back? When you see me, you start runnin')
Oh, you being heavy like a ton full of bricks
N-Dubz got a bag full of hits
You and your boys are back full of pricks
If we come to your party
(You know we're gonna leave with all of the chicks)

If you're a duku man (Ah)
You've gotta be stacking up {duku grands}
No fools 'round here, {no lulus, man} (Ah)
You man are spooky, {you do voodoo?}
(Dukes, tell me (Na na))

[Dappy {Fearless}:]
What would you if you're in a club dancing
A man rolling with his girlfriend on a sad ting
And she starts giving you the eye like it's a bang ting?
I know what I would do, I ain't ramping (Ayy, {Dooks})
{I would take her to the toilet, put her on a sink} (Beat it)
{Give her willy, 'til the "bye den" wink}
{Don't think I'm buying you a drink, you are not my girlfriend}
{You're just another link, I don't care what you think (Woo)}

[Dappy {Fearless} *Both*:]
When I die, don't bury me, burn me
By the way things are going, I might die early
I hate MCs that get away with swag lines like
"I'm a killer and no one can hurt me"
{Yo, when I die, don't bury me, freeze me}
{By the way things are going I might die easy}
{I hate MCs that come out with} *dead lines like*
*I shoot crack* {and rhymes like Jeezy} (Oi)
Ras', many men I know are living in a dreamland
Thinking they can play two notes on a keyboard
And come up with a song like ours
Your mixtape stinks like a fart
My album's a slut in the charts (Ayo)
Half a million of my CDs got shift like hotcakes over the counter (Ah)
So could you please stop standing in the west, when you can't even sell?
Two of them in an hour
{Go go cobunion} (Ayy)
{I clunked you with a shank} *then done them* (Ayy)
{I'm from a place called} *North West London*
{I heard your mum's got bunions, fam, what?}

[Fearless:]
Ooh, innit?