real

(Album: Trauma Factory - 2021)

I don't wanna talk
I just wanna sleep it off
So I can go to bed
Pretend that this will somehow end
I don't wanna talk
I just wanna sleep it off
So I can go to bed
But I know that this will never end

I was in Temple, Texas
And I took an exit to a gas station, stopped the car
Saw a young man, wearing black Vans
Kinda looked like me from afar
He said "Joe, I would die for you, bro
Man, you a legend, I hope that you know
I got your logo tattooed on my throat
I stayed out, I was waiting for your show
You do it all even with the anxiety
And honestly, that is inspiring
With all the depression you put on yourself and from others
That shit must get tiring"
I told him "Thanks" and I drove home
Going 95 in a 55
I don't wanna let him down now
Try'na be strong, but I don't know how

I don't wanna talk
I just wanna sleep it off
So I can go to bed
Pretend that this will somehow end
I don't wanna talk
I just wanna sleep it off
So I can go to bed
But I know that this will never end

So what will it take with this broken brain?
Will I go insane?
Will I be the same?
Will I win this game?
I don't know
Facing an army of fear on my own
Reading reviews of my songs in my bed
I lie when I say it won't get to my head
Defining myself by a stranger's opinion
The people around me tell me not to listen
So you wanted real?
Now I'm being it
I don't wanna keep on feeling this
You don't know what I've been dealing with
You don't know what I've been dealing with
I put all this pain in the music
But every night on this stage I'm reliving it
Had a panic attack every day for a year
Gave me pills, I know there was no fixing it
Yeah, 'cause me and mental health go way back
Thought it went away but it came back
Either way, I know I gotta try and face that
It's how I am but I wish that I could change that

I don't wanna talk
I just wanna sleep it off
So I can go to bed
Pretend that this will somehow end
I don't wanna talk
I just wanna sleep it off
So I can go to bed
But I know that this will never end