Golden Age Raps

(Album: Dark Comedy - 2014)

Whatever it's supposed to be
Do what it's supposed to do
Make you uncomfortable
Make you uncomfortable

Fuck Redding, California, cause shit's pretty racial there
I'm envious of anyone with full-grown facial hair
Yeah, I'm always in between haircuts
But FDR said it ain't shit to be scared of
Huh? He must have never smoked herb
Been beaten by his dad or heard bad spoken word
I got a pretty mean overbite
I'm still trying to navigate the settings on my Focusrite preamp
Condenser mic attached with a c-clamp
Weed on the patio, chiefing under the heat lamp
Yeah, or sneak in with a g-pen
And take that shit to church and stay high all weekend
Yeah, I'll fucking interrupt your telecast hella fast
From blonde wig and blue eyed Ellen mask

Watch me dance. Are you watching?
I'm cold

We should invest in inner-ear monitors
And start our own niche and gain little weird followers
Yeah, that make the flyest orthotics
And make decent movies out of Alan Moore comics
You can use Facebook to learn gang signs
And creepers can stalk all their exes at the same time
And if your rap career ain't hitting
You can rap over videos of kittens, it's the golden age!
Tell the internet how you got fucked over
And buy a minivan with seventeen cupholders
Legal opiates, having yourself a fever dream
And you can watch a video of the bible's deleted scenes
And nobody ever has to pay for anything
Which is pretty cool cause everybody's unemployed!
I changed my rap name to Lil' Wonder Boy
Change your rap name to Lil' Lord Fauntleroy
And we can rap about all the different candy bars
Try to get sponsors from Mounds and Almond Joy
And Whatchamacallit, and Nestle Crunch, and Kit Kat
And shit, Toblerone
And watch Twin Peaks on your mobile phone
And take a shot so you don't feel your broken bones
And move close to home
Or don't move out to begin with
Smoke herb for your gout and your shin splints
This new colorful weed is pretty intense
There's thin mints that you can get after you finish wind sprints

And I think that's it
But all that shit is great right?
That shit is cool!

Also the hip-hop guys always have a giant posse also
Yeah I don't have them in the [*indistinguishable mumbling and laughing*]
Why would I?
You don't have anything to ask?
So why don't you play guitar? You got samples
Now are you rhyming instead of singing?
Well, let me break here