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Open Mike Eagle

Heaven Application

 

Heaven Application

(Album: The New Negroes (Season 1) - 2019)


[Baron Vaughn:]
You 'bout to die, ain't ya?
Near death?
Well did you know, 4 out of every 7 applications to heaven are denied due to poor credit history?
Call us, and we will help you fix them ugly scores
Call Southfield & Moore for a free consultation and don't end up like my lazy nephew

[Open Mike Eagle (Percy Miracles):]
I was knock, knocking on heaven's door (Knocking on it)
And then they asked me for my credit score (Whoa, my God)
To filter out the bad humans
They use your Equifax and Trans-Union
So much paper work and I'm so tired (So tired)
I had to submit it without a co-signer (Co-sign)
Hoping I listed the right references
And that they overlook my college recklessness (I was young)
It was really a mess
Submitting fingerprints to prove no identity theft (Yes, I did)
I got dinged for my city address
Had to list my work history and any arrests (Hey Lawd)
I expected more character tests and less of this
Don't be like me, get your credit fixed (Fixed)
Held on til' 102
I died still under review
Get your credit fixed (Fixed)

[Percy Miracles:]
When you look back on your life
And you're seeking Salvation (Salvation)
Don't miss out on your glory
'Cause you missed a few payments (Few payments)
Call Southfield & Moore
To fix your ugly scores (Southfield & Moore, we're gonna get you right)
To fix your ugly scores

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