Adulting

(Album: Do - 2018)

I don't wanna adult today
Things to fix, bills to pay
I just want to stay in bed
Play video games, but instead
I gotta get up, go to work
Put on my pants, iron my shirt
Warm up my car, did I get gas?
Sit in traffic, this jerk won't let me pass

I've had enough adulting
No more being grown up for me
Let the bills pile up to the ceiling (in PJs)
Playing Super Mario 3

No

I can't do that, I gotta do the thing
But I don't wanna do the thing!
But you gotta do the thing!
I'm not gonna do the thing!

Adulting is suffering and suffering is not for me
Adulting has got to be the purest form of misery

I don't wanna do stuff
Doing stuff is stupid
A meaningless existence:
Doing stuff to live to have to do more stuff

You must renew your license plate, utilities need to be paid
Stop
I need a break from the stress, taxes overdue
Car needs an emissions test
I can't take it anymore!
Filthy bathroom floor, and I gotta go to the store

Going to the store is such a bore
Paying bills has no thrills
Putting on pants is a torturous dance
Being an adult is the worst kind of cult

I'm done with adulting
No more being grown up for me
I'm gonna call off work, third day in a row
Eating chicken strips, playing Battletoads
I'm done with adulting
No more responsibility
I'm out of food and money
But I gotta finish season 3

And they fired me. I gotta find a job
I don't wanna get a job! But you gotta get a job!
I don't want another job! Spruce up your resume!
I hate job hunting! Shave your beard! No!

Adulting is suffering and suffering is not for me
Adulting has got to be the purest form of misery

I don't wanna job hunt
Job hunting is stupid
A meaningless existence:
Work a job to live to have to work a job

I refuse to get a job, or do adulting stuff
I'd rather erect a couch cushion fortress.
Have a staring contest with my cat, Sergeant Snuggles
Rewatch all 121 episodes of Lost (still don't get it)
Fall asleep with the lights on
Eat Ramen straight out of the pack
Let the dishes attract fruit flies
Make a Youtube page for Sergeant Snuggles

Look Sergeant Snuggles, a comment
Meow!
Why are you making videos of your cat?
Aren't you unemployed?

I've had it. Don't you dare judge me
Been told since birth to follow my dreams
You're looking at it. I'm living the dream
The lifetime pursuit of absolutely nothing

The pursuit of nothing
The pursuit of nothing

I don't wanna human today
No more brushing teeth, let them decay
Haven't showered in over a week
I don't even wanna think
Just leave me here in bed
Pull the covers over my head
Let the world think I'm dead
Cause I'm gonna... [*snore*]

I'm finished with adulting
No more being grown up for me
Sergeant Snuggles' Youtube page
Has a billion views, so I'm getting paid
Give up on adulting
You just gotta follow your dreams
Don't need a job or any skills
When your kitty cat can pay the bills

Sergeant Snuggles
Passive income