Dear Santa, I Can Explain

(Album: Dear Santa, I Can Explain - 2021)

Dear Santa, I can explain
I didn't mean to leave this year in flames
I didn't get the memo about being good
The post is really sketchy in my neighbourhood

Dear Santa, I swear I really tried
I made as many resolutions as I could contrive
Dear Santa, please sleigh by
I can explain

It's true, I murdered a song on New Year's Day
After my seventh glass of champagne
Put on my gym shoes and ran out the door
Then ran straight back in and watched my kitten snore

Forsook my Ruby Woo on Valentine's Day
Envied the height of someone else's soufflé
I stole the limelight most of the time
But listen, Santa, is that really a crime?

Dear Santa, I can explain
I'm almost certain I was cruelly framed
I had the best intentions, and ambitious goals
And isn't that what matters? Please don't bring me coal

Dear Santa, I swear I really tried
My plan was to become my best self, as the books describe
Dear Santa, please sleigh by
I can explain

I may have been a glutton, that's so hard to define!
The truth is three-course suppers go so well with wine
Lied 'bout my dress size, hoping to self-deceive
Then bought it, wore it, and found I couldn't breathe

Pined after someone else's gay best friend
And never left the party till the bitter end
I praised myself with gusto, at least three times a day
But Santa, how could I not? There is just so much to say!

Dear Santa, I can explain
I'm more than willing to accept the blame
When it comes to presents and general bribes
I'm sure we could reach a helpful compromise
Dear Santa, I'm really gonna try
And in exchange you'll bring me everything my heart desires
Dear Santa, please sleigh by
I can explain
Dear Santa, please sleigh by
I can explain
Dear Santa, please sleigh by
I can explain
Dear Santa, please sleigh by
I can explain