You And Me: A Team Fortress 2 Song

(Album: Random Encounters: Season 8 - 2018)

Hold on,
Sit tight,
Don't be impulsive.
I can't keep you healthy when you're acting so reckless.
I want to fight!
Why so compulsive?
Charging in is stupid and entirely reckless.
Take a moment, I urge you
To consider the facts.
Boring.
I can't possibly save you
From thousands of wounds incurred by brazen attacks!
Why not?
You, me, we're in this together.
Can we please be just a bit more clever?
Do you hear me?
Heavy, do you ever use your head?
That guy's gonna end up dead.

Fight me again, you cowards!
Calm down, just chill.
Don't be a baby.
Hey!
Counter strikes are pointless when you're not thinking clearly.
What?!
Stay put, stand still and then just maybe
You and I will hatch a plan.
And make them pay.
Dearly.
Heavy just want to crush them,
Stomp them into the ground.
Yes of course but
If we carelessly rush them
I'm sorry to say that we will not be around for long.
You, me, we can win this battle,
You are puny, I'm as strong as cattle,
You will heal me, Heavy uses Gattling gun and then...
This is not what I meant.
Enemy will end up dead.

There are a few complications.
They have a scout sniffing us out and a Pyro.
Hah! Tiny men.
Their engineer's turret is here on the crest.
Hah! I eat turrets for breakfast.
They have a spy lurking nearby, plus a sniper.
My sandwich!
Their demo-man's armed with the Mann Co's very best.

Okay, you win, let's kick their kiesters.
No one shoots at Heavy while he's eating his sandwich.
The doc is in,
Prepare the Uber!
I will take the payload
While he hasthe advantage.
Sure, they may see us coming,
But we don't really care
With my medigun humming
We'll blow them away so they should say a few prayers because,
You, me, baby we're invincible and
Victory is our only principle,
We may be fully unconvincable as well,
But nothing can stop us!
It's me, you hanging by a wire
But we'll get through our own friendly fires.
Going, pew, pew,
Should've picked a darker coat of red,
Now you're gonna end up dead.