Engineers Are Your Friend

(Album: Random Encounters: Season 12 - 2022)

I was guarding the point at some dusty old joint
My trusty Dispenser nearby
But along came a rocket when I couldn't block it
And I knew that Soldier must die

So I gave his big nogging a serious floggin
Then put a round in his rear end!
And now he's digesting without his intestines
Cause Engineers weren't his friend

The wrench is his scythe! He's a herald of doom!
The Gorge is a grave and the 2Fort's a tomb
It's too late to duck if you heard it go boom
But Engineers are your friend

I had me a chum who would chug too much rum
Then go blow the place up, as kids do
But I realized one night as he vanished from sight
That ol' Tavish was working for BLU

When I saw I'd been tricked, I was pretty dang ticked
And my fists, well, they started to clench
And he screamed and he bled when I took off his head
With the business end of this here wrench

The blood runs like rivers when I come around
I'll blow you to slivers all over the ground!
We'll bash you and beat you until we de-feet you
But Engineers are your friend

Her name was Katrina, and if she had seen ya
You would prob'bly be dead in a box
She was little and cute, but hot dog, she could shoot
Like a drop-dead'n, three-legged fox!

She died from a sapper, but I couldn't scrap her
So Trina got made a new twin
And her new baby sister, she miserably missed her
But never missed no one again

And I'd smile and strum on my blood-stained guitar
While no-scoping scumbags both near and afar
We'll blow all your brains out, whoever you are!
Me and all of my friends...

So don't be afraid to come sit by my fire
And toast up a wiener or two...
But if you double cross me, then things will get saucy
And I'll blow a big hole straight through you

We'll massacre Medics and skin every Scout!
We'll hang every Heavy and gouge their eyes out!
I'd kill this whole crew, but it ain't wearing blue...
Oh, Engineers are your friend!