Used Cars

(Album: 20 Comedy Hits - 1995)

Used cars (used cars), used cars (used cars)
They're the curse of the common man
Used cars (used cars), used cars (used cars)
For rich folks just don't understand

What it means to drive a junker, a jalopy, a bomb
Folks in new Mercedes don't know where they're coming from
Used cars (used cars), used cars (used cars)
Yeah they're the curse of the common man

Now you've seen those cars on people's lawns
On concrete blocks with their fenders gone
Disgusting, rusting testimony
To the money that folks have blown
On parts and labor and hoses and belts
Don't judge them friends, they need our help
'Cause thanks to that car
Their money and their minds are gone
Now when I go buy a used car
I'll immediately put it on blocks in the yard
And don't ever drive it anywhere
And save all that money on repairs...

Used cars (used cars), used cars (used cars)
They're the curse of the common man

Well, I once had this 1963 two-tone troublemaker sedan
I mean she was Freddy Kruger, Jason and the Swamp Thing
All rolled into one
She was a nightmare on any street, friends
Had her towed to a used car lot,
I said "Buddy, what's she worth?"
He said "Well, that all depends, Slick"
I said "Depends on what?"
Said "On how much gas she has in the tank..."

Used cars (used cars), used cars (used cars)
They're the curse of the common man

Now some of you folks just sit there and stare
Well I guess I'm not talking to everybody out there
Not everybody spent their whole life driving junk
No, some folks just drive cars that are new
Well God bless ya, friends, I'm not talking to you
No, I'm talking to the people with jumper cables in their trunk!
'Cause we know what it means when it snows
To be somewhere with their fingers froze
Trying not to touch that ol' red cable
To that minus electrode...

Used cars (used cars), used cars (used cars)
They're the curse of the common man

Yeah those folks in Mercedes
Might not know where they're coming from
But they sure know where we're going
All they gotta do is follow that cloud of smoke
Or that stream of transmission fluid
Why, chances are 50:50 we're on our way to
Or coming from a repair shop!

Used cars (used cars), used cars (used cars)
They're the curse of the common man

You sorry, no-good...