Several Years

(Album: Still Lost 2 - 2021)

Lately, all I feel is pain
Feels like my heart doesn't beat the same
I wanna give up and I just feel stuck in a life that I know I cannot change
I'm really lonely and feel drained
Sometimes I feel like a mistake
I just sit and dwell in my trauma
My life's full of problems, I feel like I might break
Tried to move on, but I just can't
Breakdown after breakdown and somedays
I wish I could run away just to escape
And feel at ease even if it means one day
Where did my life go wrong?
I was a happy teen and now I'm an adult
Who's sad as hell and always at a loss
No one can tell I'm drowning in my thoughts
I'm still lost tryna find purpose
After all these years, I'm still searching
Hope you forgive me for being a burden
Self-love is something that I'm still learning
And I know I lie when I tell you I'm fine
'Cause nobody knows I'm struggling inside
Sorry if you see me cry
It's just I finally realized

It's been several years
Since I felt okay, I'm losing my way and
It's been several years
Since I've been on meds, I still feel depressed and
It's been several years
Since I felt alive, there's no tears to cry and
It's been several years
Since I had a friend, that came and went

Lately, I feel so depressed
Tried to get help, but I'm still a mess
I don't ever rest, I guess I'm stressed
Got my head down, hands gripping on my neck
Did I take my last breath?
Did I walk my last step?
I'm alive, but inside I am dead
Look, I lied, I'm not fine 'cause my mind is a wreck
I saw pictures of me in elementary
I don't remember teachers ever telling me
I'd be an adult who senses people's energy
Being an empath attracts those who lack empathy
When I look back, my past shows me bad memories
Plus, it's so sad, I had to withstand everything
I felt my last ex, damn, thought you'd stand next to me
You stabbed my back, and that hurt me bad mentally
It definitely changed me, but I forgive you
I understand now that you had your own issues
Your fear of abandonment really convinced you
That you weren't enough for the love I would give you
I tried, but I broke myself tryna fix you
And I feel hurt that you couldn't commit to
Me or the love I would give you
Nobody knows what I been through

It's been several years
Since I felt okay, I'm losing my way and
It's been several years
Since I've been on meds, I still feel depressed and
It's been several years
Since I felt alive, there's no tears to cry and
It's been several years
Since I had a friend, that came and went