Smash Rap

(Album: Shut Up! And Listen - 2015)

[Chorus:]
[Zelda:]
We start the party out the best of friends
And you think the fun never ends
We used to be tight like brothers
By the end you want to murder each other
(Go!)

[Mega Man:]
Remind me again, what the hell's your name?
No one put "Samus" in the title of your game
Nice skin tight suit
Where is your pole?
Might make more dough
Without a camel toe
Blonde hair and blue eyes
Don't detract from your true size
Like Iggy Is without skills or class
But you'll never be a rapper with a flat-ass ass

[Zero Suit Samus:]
My ass may be flat
But don't get caught up on that
You need an outfit switch, bitch
You're looking nerdy and fat
I'm feeling sexually harrassed
By the brown streak on your ass
Blast your ass back to the 80s
When you were relevant last

[Mega Man:]
Haha, no one's gonna admit but it's plain to see
You only got in the game
'Cause you give the best down B
Your fighting's weak and your moves are shit
Players only choose you to stare at your tits
This ain't a beauty pageant
Ain't playing with dolls
It's about time to taste these Mega Man Balls!

[Chorus]
(Go!)

[Mega Man:]
Look at your cute face, man, I can't fight you
Your game's stupid simple
Only little kids like you
How can I fight someone I just wanna hug?
Now, run along kid and go catch a bug

[The Villager:]
Let's get this over quick
I'm dirty Need a bath
Filled with all your blood
After I murder your ass
I'll start at the top
I hear the scalp tastes nice
Don't worry, blue eyes
I'll just try a little slice
Then after your head
Down to your fingers
Cobble them up, don't worry I won't linger
Using my scissors on your scrotum and balls
Snip, snippy, snip until a blood river falls
I love the fresh smell of blood on the grass
Can't run away 'cause I'm way too fast
I'll light you on a fire and drench you in gas
I'll take a rusty knife
And shove it deep inside your ass

(Defeated!)

[Mario:]
I'm the king, this is my kingdom
So show respect!
'Cause you look to me like some stupid Tron reject
Oops, I leaked a video to TMZ last night
Of you making love to your arm cannon flashlight

[Mega Man:]
Look up "sell out" in the dictionary and see Mario
Got your face on everything just like a NINTEND-HO
Keep copies of your game in the bathroom
For when I need to wipe
Peach always gets kidnapped
Because you're too busy
Plumbing Luigi's pipe

[Mario:]
You try to roll hard
Like your name is Donkey Kong
But through your girly-ass tights
We can see your tiny dong
We've been fighting for years
Don't need another player
Go run along with Sega
And be another failure

[Mega Man:]
You're a Pedo-stached preening pussy
Plumbing fucking prick
On the roster you're the reject that no one ever picks
It ain't my fault you're always losing your chick
SORRY
Your princess is in another castle
Sucking my dick

[Chorus]