Montage Machine

(Album: Shut Up! And Listen - 2015)

Anthony needs some cereal
He don't wanna waste no time

Pour the milk like it's life or death
Cereal in the bowl is the best

It's a
Montage Machine
You press the button and you get a montage
Just like in the movies
You press the button and you get a montage

You wanna be the best
And teach Brett a lesson
You gotta work hard
Get big ass muscles and stretching

Now it's time to put your training to the test
You're gonna beat him in the fight
'Cause you're the best
(oh wait no, you just, him him with a car... Guess that works.)

It's a
Montage Machine
You press the button and you get a montage
Just like in the movies
You press the button and you get a montage

You wanna get that model
But you need a lot of money
So you gotta go to college
And get a good job

But you have trouble with math
So you get a tutor
Now you've got math skills
You'll get that model in no time

But the tutor steals your laptop
And flees the country
You're crazy in debt
And can't complete your degree
You move back with your folks
And now your life's a joke

You look to your father
And see the disappointment in his eyes
And all you wanted to do
Was find a hot model to screw...

So you turn to crime
To pay off the debts
The cops connect you to the time
You killed Brett

Your semen matched up with the one
At the scene of the crime
You're convicted of murder
Serving a life time

It's a
Montage Machine
You press the button and you get a montage
Just like in the movies
You press the button and you get a montage

Now you're pen pals
With the hot model
She investigates murders
With semen on the scene
She runs a podcast called
Semen Crimes
It's earned $30 in ad revenue
She's saving up to buy a Kangaroo

You're pretending to be interested
But you don't really care
You're just hoping for some nudes
Before the electric chair
'Cause you've only seen dicks
For the past seven years

Then you get killed in a prison fight. And you're dead.

50 years later you got resurrected
'Cause your best friend's got the cure to human death
You go to the model's grave to pay your respects
But you ain't gonna leave without getting a kiss

It's a Montage Machine

You press the button and you get a montage
Just like in the movies
You press the button and you get a montage!