Sex Turban

(Album: Shut Up! And Listen - 2015)

I bought this turban at a garage sale,
and ever since then I've been an alpha male
There's just something ladies love
about a big, sexy turban
Someone better hose me down
'Cause I'm so hot, I'm burning

Sex Turban,
It's a magical sexual hat
Sex Turban
I wouldn't be caught dead in that
Sex Turban
You put it on and all the ladies wanna sex ya
Sex Turban
Alright, fine. Do you have an extra?

Not everybody knows
just how I get my hoes
Whoa! Sexist!
Not everybody knows
how to respectfully pursue a woman
That's better.
If you wanna get a lady in your bed
put a sex turban on your head

Sex Turban,
It's a turban made of sex
Sex Turban
My ancestors were oppressed!
Sex Turban
No girl has ever touched me there
Sex Turban
Oh, Ian, can I taste your hair?

At first I didn't think
the turban magic was real
and now I'm covered in ladies
trying to cop a feel
It was cool at first
but now I'm feeling harassed
so now I'm gonna take it off
so they stop groping my ass!

Sex Turban,
It's a sex hat made of cloth
Sex Turban
You can never take it off!
Wait! What?
Death Turban
If you take it off you'll die
Dude, what the fuck?
Death Turban
Just keep it on, don't ask why