It's Messed Up How I Want You To Stay

You know just how to hide behind the truth
You've got years and years of training
You laugh back at it, yeah that's what you do
With all your dumbass friends

And it's kinda sad
That I know all that
I still want you bad
But I guess that's part of your trick

Locked up in my bedroom
I can't stop thinking 'bout the way
You played me every fucking day
I'm stuck with thoughts of you
It's messed up how I want you to stay
Even it kills me to see
You wearing a smile
As I am dying inside
I'm paralyzed
I ignore all the lies
I've put my mental health aside
I'm stuck with thoughts of you
It's messed up how I want you to stay
Even if you're all but good for me

I've spent the last three years by myself
'Cause the last time I gave my heart to someone else
It was such a mess, I was so depressed
I just recognized I needed to build up my self esteem
I wasn't at the place I wanted to be
But so were you when you came up to me
If I had to guess, I was just a test
And I failed to see the real you
And now I can't trust anyone

And it's kinda sad
That I know all that
I still want you bad
But I guess that's part of your trick
Yeah it's kinda sad
I'm not even mad
I miss what we had
Even if it's all fake souvenirs

Locked up in my bedroom
I can't stop thinking 'bout the way
You played me every fucking day
I'm stuck with thoughts of you
It's messed up how I want you to stay
Even it kills me to see
You wearing a smile
As I am dying inside
I'm paralyzed
I ignore all the lies
I've put my mental health aside
I'm stuck with thoughts of you
It's messed up how I want you to stay
Even if you're all but good for me

You wearing a smile
As I am dying inside
I'm paralyzed
Even if you're all but good for me
I've put my mental health aside

Locked up in my bedroom
I can't stop thinking 'bout the way
You played me every fucking day
I'm stuck with thoughts of you
It's messed up how I want you to stay
Even if you're all but good for me

You wearing a smile
As I am dying inside
I'm paralyzed