Clowns Are Experts (At Making Us Laugh)

(Album: Slippery When Ill - 1989)

[Chorus:]
Clowns are neato, clowns are fun
Clowns are loved by everyone
Cops n' commies, even fags
Everybody loves a gag

Clowns everywhere are freaking out
In parades they scream n' shout
They're sad as hell, and they're singing the blues
Cause no one laughs at their great big shoes

[Chorus]

Here's some clowns we really love:
Bozo, Scoopy, Rusty Nails
And here's a clown we really hate:
Ronald McDonald
You see he's only in it for the burgers
And that's not very funny

I saw a clown in the mall today
My brother cried and he ran away
They get no respect, aren't served in bars
No matter how many friends they can fit in their cars

[Chorus]

The other day 17 of my friends and me
Was driving around in the clown mobile towing the ferris wheel in the back
And this cop pulls me over and says "Where ya going Bozo?"
I said, "I ain't Bozo. I sure wish I was, though.
The man's a frigging genius."

Clowns are forced to take jobs across the nation
Below the level of their education
It's hard as hell to make ends meet
With a painted face and gigantic feet

[Chorus]

I was sitting in a bar having a drink
And this clown walks in and says
"Bartender, give me a tree fort."
The bartender looks at him and says,
"What's in a tree fort?"
Clown says
"Playboy books and cigars."

[Chorus]

Last verse same as the first
Acapulco version, ten times worse

[Chorus]