If That Isn't Love

(Album: Alpocalypse - 2011)

ooh yeah
oh
i'm your shelter from the storm
you'll know I'll always have your back
I'll even let you warm your freezing hands inside my butt crack
I never get out my leaf blower when Oprah is on
and when you're telling me about your feelings I try not to yawn
and when we're at parties I don't talk about your spastic bladder
when you're cleaning the gutters on the roof I hold the ladder

and if that isn't love
if that isn't love
if that isn't love
i don't know what love is
nanananananana nanananano i guess i don't know
nanananananana
ahhhh listen now

there's a microscopic bit of milk left in the refrigerator
i coulda finished it off but i quit in case you want a tiny little sip for later
and if you cut the cheese then maybe i'll wink and say the dog's to blame
and i'll make sure to call you baby everytime i forget your name
i'll even tell you girl when you start looking fat
'cuz all your so-called friends will probably neglect to mention that

and if that isn't love
if that isn't love
if that isn't love
i don't know what love is
nanananananana nananana well then I don't know
nananannananna
oh no
even though you make me sit through Mamma Mia!
well I still adore you
i'll kiss you even if you have omelettes for breakfast
and i can't stand omelettes
after I take a bath
if its still warm i'll leave the water in there for you
i'll give you my word
you're so beautiful you make a glorious sunset look like a big fat turd
everytime I see you trying to lift some really heavy thing
you can always count on me to help by saying something encouraging
if you get drunk and pass out i'll never sharpie up your face
and I don't wipe my nose on your couch even though that's a super convenient place
i totally support every idiotic thing you do
and i almost never pretend you're someone else when i'm making out with you
and if that isn't love
if that isn't love
if that isn't love
i don't know what love is
nanananananana no i don't know what love is
nanananananana well I don't know what love is
I don't know what love is