Nosedive

(Album: Keepsakes & Reminders - 2021)

It's just been one of those days
Where I can't see the point anymore
It's just been one of those days feeling anxious
Reaching out, but ignored

If only I could know how to come clean and let this go
Instead of keeping habits I can't refrain from
Well maybe that's just me, seeing so indifferently
There'll be no rhyme or reason
Or a shoulder to lean on
It's no secret, cause I can see that
I'm still busy being pissed at my reflection
What's said and done from myself I can't out run

I'm hanging on to this, and the pain held in my head
With a life lesson I've learned of "don't let anybody in
Putting on another charade won't make it all go away
You want honesty? But acting sorry for myself is comforting

Searching for something that could kill me quick
Give me the antidote for the mess I'm in
No guidance, I'm lifeless, and so headstrong
Help me find the difference in right and wrong
And I know I'll just end up standing in smoke
So I'll choke and invoke my former self as a ghost
And I know I'll just end up standing in smoke
With the words that I wrote but never spoke

I'm hanging on to this, and the pain held in my head
With a life lesson I've learned of "don't let anybody in
Putting on another charade won't make it all go away
You want honesty? But acting sorry for myself is comforting

Strapped in for the long haul
I'd best learn how to enjoy the downfall
Is there a reason to fight?
I'll wilt away with no end in sight
I've been here before
But I don't recognize it anymore
They say pain makes you stronger
I'm weaker than ever
Will it ever end?

A feeling I discarded, since the moment all this started
I'll never fit into the shape you made
Would anyone just take my place?
Restless and hopeless, spend every given day
To waste it all away I'm wasted away

I'm hanging on to this, and the pain held in my head
With a life lesson I've learned of "don't let anybody in
Putting on another charade won't make it all go away
You want honesty? But acting sorry for myself is comforting