Different Love

(Album: Some Love Lost - 2014)

It go off of my sabbatical
Took a few years cause Slaughter is what I had to do
Which only brings me to now and I ought to be erratical
I say that cause my autobiographical is more so just a graph of you
I ain't mad, you did more than what I asked of you
As for me, I did less than what I could've
So though we were a hit I had to cancel that show
And now my standing solo, I'll be amped when she not a ho
But what you doing right now is real commendable
Take strength to do
Cause between us there's some deep root stare
I gave you the best dick you ever got in your life
And stupid me thought it would be enough to keep you there
I thought you loved football
I was running through the hole with the stiff arm
But got disarmed, guess it was just harm
I ain't need to fuck, I was looking for a peer
They say once you stop looking what you looking for appears
You were stronger than I pictured you, much stronger than me
And almost just as strong as John
And John, oh, that's just a friend of my moms
With tubes coming out his nose, but shit I never knew why
But he was born with his heart in the right side of his chest
No, for real, his heart is in the right side of his chest
Doctors confused, they must do what they can do
But impute and say it ain't on the right side of his chest
Scared he might die in his sleep, deep
Every time he coughs wonders if it's a cough or a symptom
Us will get better later
He gon' live his whole life waking up every morning to a respirator
So I don't never say what I can't do
If he can be happy with life than nigga I can too
While Jose wanna die
Ain't tell nobody, but eyeing his eyes feel I should probably identify
I said everyday he lives with pain and want to end it
Something's wired wrong in your brain, you gotta mend it
Had a bad breakup and let it expose dude
But if she was getting you high then she would get you low too
So who's there to wait on me?
Y'all just get it off y'all and put the weight on me
Nigga look me in my eyes, it was amazing to me
And said she don't understand you not as crazy as me
You got God, nigga, I'm the most mentally flawed nigga
You not even built to withstand what all I've endured, nigga
You know shit about the thoughts in my head
Or the strength I need daily just to get out of bed
Just to open my eyes, nigga, open your eyes
The words spoken of wise, you just know it in disguise
We can end this right here, I got nothing more to say to you
You ain't never met another fucking nigga crazier
Blank stare, couldn't believe 'em
Cat chastised me cause I got help when you need some
I can give less than a fuck and not a damn
I never be apologetic over who I am
I'm the same me, nothing changes when the riches do
But niggas wanna suck you dry just like the bitches do
They enter your mentions, sucks to be the center of attention
When you can't even center your attention
Yeah, so I'm fucking out of frustration
They love every second and accuse me of persuasion
Jam was a cancer to me, I had to rid it
Red got in her feelings fast, but won't admit it
Dawn I was bored then, never really smithen
V got threatened by the thought of competition
Malo wanna fuck all day, don't know how
She why I got a Viagra in my wallet right now
Step kept it simple, loved me for my mental
B got a nigga, but she used me as her rental
And you, you just give me resistance
Say you needed comfort zone, for you it's distance
I tell 'em all I'm not available emotionally
They start giving me advice like they coaching me
I don't even ask it
It's something about bipolar sociopath shit
They just find it attractive
Yeah, anti-social, but I mingle now
But I've been arguing much more since I've been single, how?
Tell me is this a relationship or just a fuckship?
Whatever situation it is it's all fuck shift
I'll admit it, I might love her a bit differently
As for them they'll all love to see a different me
Some cried to me, some are begging for it
Someone'll see that change, but not be present for it
You just act so frightened
Ignoring all logic now, she won't buy in
Even in your absence my feelings are heightened
Though I know some love's lost, it's not on my end
It's not mine, it's not mine at all