Mixed Messages

(Album: Artificial Intelligence - 2021)

It's Sunday night and you're at home all alone
Last night was great, it was our very first date
So now it's time to pull out my phone
Gonna send you something real quick
It ain't gonna be a dick pic, no, no
Romance needs clarity
But baby, that don't work for me, I'm sending

Mixed messages
Mixed messages
I send the first text in a cute way (Cute way)
And then I don't reply for seven fucking days, yeah
Mixed messages
Mixed messages
Oh, you text me what night am I free
And I reply, "Yes." Full stop

I send you a little smiley face (Smiley face)
So you send me back a little smiley face (Little smiley face)
And then I say, "Hey," and so you write back, "Hey"
And I say, "Hey what?" (Hey what?)
And you say, "You said 'hey' first"
And I say, "Okay (Okay)
'Croissant emoji', fuck you"

Mixed messages
Mixed messages
One second, I say you're very pretty (Very pretty)
And then I show up at your house and I kick your dog, yeah
Mixed messages
Mixed messages
I pay for the dog's veterinary bills
But then I punch your dad in the dick, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

Now we're going to a hospital
Just me, you, and your dad in the back of an ambulance
And even with your dad's broken dick
The air is thick with sexual tension
I'm really sorry for punching your dad in the dick
I won't do it again
You make me shake his hands and promise
But as I do, I ball up my other fist and I
Punch your dad in the dick again (Dick again)
I punch your dad in his broken dick again
You think I'm sexy, I'm being mysterious
Sending you these mi-mixed messages
You say, "Stop punching my dad's dick"
I say, "Okay," but then I wink
So you grab both of my hands quick
Stopping my third attempt to punch your dad's dick
Oh, baby, you've played this game before
Too bad, I've played a little bit more
You got my both my hands, so I use my head
I headbutt your dad's pants in the back of an ambulance
And between the headbutts, our eyes lock as we're holding hands
And we can't help but kiss over your dad's not once
Twice, thrice broken dick

Mixed messages
Mixed messages
I say I love you in a cute way (Cute way)
And then I punch your dad's dick every day
Mixed messages
Mixed messages
Tell your dad that I'm sorry
But then punch him in his dick again (Why, why, why)