Uncle Harvey's Plane

(Album: A Little Bit Faster And A Little Bit Worse - 2006)

Well me 'n oliver 'n Virgil were in the drugstore killing time
When my eyes fell upon this magazine
Well I got to reading this article about sky diving and parachutes
Said jumpin out of airplanes was the thing
Being raised down on the farm and always ready for adventure
Well I knew that I could find a way
Delmer Gill he's got a parachute and uncle Harvey's got an airplane
So we called the boys together
Today's the day
Well I found out too late what Uncle Harvey called an airplane
It was nothing but an engine and a wing
Now I felt my fear begin to rise as Delmer packed that parachute
Cuz' he told me I was doing the right thing

Ron McGloughlan shook my hand and JD strapped me in the harness
Some children brought a jug and they passed it round
Well I took one look at that parachute and that whiskey and that airplane
And I turned that bottle up and I drank it down
Well I was drunker that Cooter Jones when they poured me in the plane
Say the engine coughed and headed for the clouds.
Well I was sober as a judge when Harvey opened up the door
And I never known my heart could beat so loud.
I screamed "Harvey, I can't do this. You and I have known each other a very long time and you've been my uncle all my life and to ask another human being to jump out of an airplane at this altitude and this velocity is simply ridiculous man" at which point he kicked me out the door
And I wrapped my hands around the landing gear
And I was holding on real good til Harvey stepped upon my fingers
And Virgil heard me scream from way down there
Well I'd thank God and I'd thank Buddha I'd thank Jesus I'd thank Judah
I'd thank Krishna and all the lesser Hindu gods
Most of all thank my good friend Delmer Gill when my parachute finally opened
And I thought hell there ain't no use in being afraid
I came crashing through that hen house
I scared chickens I broke eggs
And then I kissed that ground and I fainted dead away
Now friends I've been in a few battles
And I've been shot at once or twice
And I've damned near been runned over by a train
But I never do remember ever feeling so afraid
As that day I jumped from Uncle Harvey's plane.