I Hope I Don't Fuck This Up

(Album: Yikes - 2015)

I wanted to dedicate a song to you
But all of my songs are about ex-girlfriends and puke
So I sat down to write you a love song
It was full of clichés
It wasn't impressing anyone
Even though I tried really hard
All I came up with was
"You are a opossum living in the trashcan of my heart
You're a opossum in my heart"

I'm sorry I left that towel on the floor
So sorry that I snore
Sorry I'm taking my band on tour
Sorry that I'm insecure
Sorry I'm awkward around your friends
Sorry I get jealous when you talk to other men
Sorry I drank all your wine again
Sorry I apologize so much
Yeah, I hope that I don't fuck this up
Yeah, I hope that I don't fuck this up
Yeah, I hope that I don't fuck this up

And she said
"Don't be so hard on yourself
You fucking idiot, I don't need anybody else
You stupid asshole, I'm for you
And you are for me
But you've gotta get over your insecurities!"
And that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me
So I tried to reciprocate with something romantic and sweet

When I got home I thought of the perfect thing to say
But of course in that moment, it didn't happen that way
I just held your hand and looked you in the eyes and I said
"You're pretty rad too, dude
You're pretty rad too, dude
You're pretty rad too, dude
You're pretty rad."