Harper Valley P.T.A.

(Album: In The Good Old Days - 1969)

I want to tell you all a story 'bout a Harper Valley widow wife
Who had a teenage daughter that attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play
And she said, "Mama, I've got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA"
Well the note says "Mrs. Johnson, you're wearing your dresses way too high
It's been reported you've been drinking and a running round with men and going wild
Now we don't believe you ought to be a bringing up your little girl this way"
And it was signed by the Secretary, Harper Valley PTA

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon
And boy, were they surprised as Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard I can still recall the word she had to say
She said "I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA

Now there's Bobby Taylor sitting there and seven times he's asked me for a date
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lot of ice whenever he's away
And Mr. Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town
And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep her window shades all pulled completely down

Now Mr. Harper couldn't be here 'cause he's stayed too long in Kelly's bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath you'll find she's had a little nip of gin
And then you have the nerve to tell me as a mother you think that I ain't fit
Well this is just a little Payton place and you're all Harper Valley hypocrits

Now I wouldn't put you on because it really did, it happened just this way
That day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA
That day my Mama socked it to 'em at the Harper Valley PTA