A Lil' Ole Bitty Pissant Country Place

(Album: The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas - 1982)

It's just a little bitty pissant country place
Ain't nothing much to see
No drinking allowed, we get a nice quiet crowd, plain as it can be
It's just a piddly squating old time country place
Ain't nothing to hide at all
Just lots of good will and maybe one small thrill
But there's nothing dirty going on
Nothing dirty going on
We get simple farmers, local business men
Congress folks from Austin, young boys looking for sin
Now we used to get a lot of rough necks, when the oil boom was high
But pay day would get a little rowdy, thank God the field ran dry

[Chorus:]
It's just a little bitty pissant country place, nothing much to see
No drinking allowed, we get a nice quiet crowd, plain as it can be
It's just a piddly squatin no time country place, nothing to hide at all
Just lots of good will, and maybe one small thrill, but there's nothing dirty going on

I don't hire no married girl, they're not on the ball
They got homes and husbands, they're not stable at all
You know they don't understand a thing about a proper business day
Now what's the point in opening up the store if you give the goods away

[Chorus]

Keep your language clean girls, keep your bedrooms neat
And don't hang around the town cafe and say hi on the street
Mind you P's and Q's and manners, and you don't need no other tools
Cause every girl that lives here knows my special no-no rules

Yea every girl that lives here knows Miss Mona's no-no rules

Ruby, Ray start em!

Beds are not to be wallowed in
That's the kind of thing that big fat lazy hogs do

And it don't make money!
Betrix!

I won't tolerate no tying my telephone with other peoples business

Eloise honey!

And please don't show us no tattoos
No hearts and flowers on your thigh

It's downright tacky

Brands for the cattle and that ain't what we're selling at Miss Mona's

Do you catch my drift?
I pay the food and the rent and the utilities
You keep your mind on your work responsibilities
Don't let your mouth overload your capabilities
And we can get along
Dawn!

Any bad habits you come in with, get rid off right now

Tatty Joe!

I can't stand no chewing gum it looks just like a cow

Lindy Lue!

Any one taking sick leave for to make real sure their sick

And every time you hear that bell...
You better get here double quick

And as for pimps
Pimps are something you don't need
To get your daily business done
Are you listening good?
Keep them leaches and blood suckers of the bathrobes
And I know how to use a gun
And nobody messes with my girls

And any questions you might have about the way I run this place
Don't grip and whine behind my back
Just tell me face to face, I'm open-minded, say it all
Then go upstairs and pack, the door's that way

She pays the food and the rent and the utilities
We keep our mind on our work responsibilities
Don't let your mouth overload your capabilities
And we can get along

[Chorus]

It's just a little bitty pissant country place, nothing much to see
No drinking allowed, we get a nice quiet crowd, plain as it can be
It's just a piddly squatin no time country place, nothing to hide at all
Just lots of good will and maybe one small thrill
Just lots of good will and maybe one small thrill
Just lots of good will and maybe one small thrill
But there's nothing dirty going on
Nothing dirty going on