H.B.D.M.F.

(Album: Turn Up That Dial - 2021)

This is your time
This is your day
You've waited and wondered
You've pondered and planned
Where will you stay?
What would they say?
How will you get there?
Where will you go?
What will they give you?
How many friends will show?

Happy birthday
Here's to ya
Happy birthday everyone
Buy 'em a beer, give 'em a cheer
Some love and affection
A gift card, a cake, and a hug

What self-respecting adult
Makes a big deal of their birthday?
It's time to simmer down
And stop acting like you're 10
But we know you're a really big deal
So let's get it out of the way
For you and nearly 2 million other
Important people born today

Happy birthday
Here's to ya
We know all about it
'Cause you told everyone
It's attention that you seek
It's a birthday, not a week
You're a wicked sick
Sad, selfish son of a gun

Throw yourself a big old party
Rent yourself a big old hall
Send out invitations
To your shitty birthday ball
Stop posting pictures and videos
You think you're so cinematic
Blow out those freaking candles
And get over it
Don't be so dramatic

Happy birthday
Here's to ya
Happy birthday everyone
No more beers, no more cheers
No more love and affection
No gift cards, no cakes, and no hugs

Happy birthday
Here's to ya
We know all about it
'Cause you told everyone
It's attention that you seek
It's a birthday, not a week
You're a wicked sick
Sad, selfish son of a gun

You're a wicked sick
Sad, selfish son of a gun