Mike Balls Un-Official World Cup Anthem

(Album: The Party Album - 2002)

His name's Mike Balls and he's safe you see
Just like you and me, he's GLC
He's been into soccer violence for quite some time
But give him the draw, and he's fine

I said Mike:
YEAH!
Where d'you get your leisurewear?
I got my tracksuit from a shop in Aberdare
I wears my gold outside of my shirt
And I borrowed my sovereign off my Uncle Bert

Yeah Mike:
You knows it!
Where d'you get your trainers from?
I won em off a bloke that I smoked off on a bong
Yeah I think I know the geezer, I think he's called Pazzo
I had to have em they were Silver Shadow

My name's Ballsy, come on Japan and Korea
I'm going to the World Cup to drink some beer
Cause some destruction while I'm here
And fcuk some little Thai girls up the rear
I've got tickets, for the game with the Argies
There's gonna be some argy-bargy
I've been into fighting for all of my life
And when I gets married I'm gonna beat the wife

His name's Mike Balls and he's got a machete
He'll cut you into bits until you look like confetti
Soccer violence is a game what he plays
When he buys the draw it's his nan what pays

I'm back, and I'm ringing my bell
You'll better not stare cos I'll stare as well
And if you get a fcukin stare off me
Then you better be a member of the GLC
Cos if you're not, then you better sit tight
I'll come over to you and I'll start a fight
And tell you that my name is fcukin Mike Balls
And kick your head against at least 4 walls

He's safe, and he's got respect
For the GLC crew, to some effect
But mess with him, he'll leave your face in a mess
His name's Mike Balls EXPECT NO LESS!

Listen Mike:
WHAT?
Tell me about your chain
It weighs a ton and won't go rusty in the rain
Mike Balls:
YEAH!
What have you got?
I've got draw fags and rizla and a dose of cock rot

Me Xain and 2Hats were selling some hash
This twat had come after our fcukin stash
So I hit him in the head with a fcukin pint glass
And shoved a red hot poker up his arse

If Mike don't like you then you'll hear the silence
It's the Mike Balls school of fcukin soccer violence
Mike how d'you organise a fight?
I does it by the e-mail in the middle of the night

He's Mike Balls
AAH YEAH!
And he's safe as fcuk
Banned from the terraces since the FA Cup

I took a bird out to dinner the other night
Things went wicked, I got into a fight
With 3 fcukin blokes that were looking at her arse
So I re-arranged their faces with a fcukin brandy glass
I got escorted out by the fcukin police
My bird sucked them off to help with my release
I said you better get tested, she'll give you the clap
I'm in the GLC, and this is how I rap

He's back:
YEAH!
Listen to what he's saying
I always start a fight no matter who's playing
That's right:
I'M BACK!
And he loves to fight
I'll kick you in the head till you lose your fcukin sight

He's got a tracksuit, and he wears the gold
I'm the hardest man in soccer violence, so I'm told
He has to watch the match, on a big screen
And at half time I tokes on some green

When I'm not on medication, I drive across the nation
Organising violence to keep up my reputation

You knows it, this is Mike Balls, this is the year 2002, smacking everybody's face in for the World Cup, you knows it!

Yeah that's right Mike Balls is back!