Harper Valley P.T.A.

(Album: Songs That Made Country Girls Famous - 1969)

I wanna tell you all the story 'bout the Harper Valley widow wife
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well, her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play
And she said mom I got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA

Well, the note said Mrs Johnson you're wearing your dresses way too high
And it's reported you've been drinking and a running round with men and going wild
And we don't believe you oughta be a bringing up your little girl this way
And it was signed by the secretary Harper Valley PTA

Well, it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon
And they were sure surprised when Mrs Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard I can still recall the words she had to say
She said I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA
Now there's Bobby Taylor sitting there and seven times he asked me for a date
And Mrs Taylor sure seems to use a lotta ice whenever he's away
And Mr Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town
And shouldn't wodow Jones be told to keep
Her window shades all pulled completely down

Well, Mr Harper couldn't be here 'cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath you'll find she's had a little nip of gin
And when you have the nerve to tell me you think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little Payton Place and you're all Harper Valley hypocrites

No, I wouldn't put you on because it really did it happened just this way
The day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA
The day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA