Global Warming

(Album: Grey Tickles, Black Pressure - 2015)

You people and your cute little terms
you like to throw around and make everybody squirm
Upper class, middle class, lower class, Sassafras
Everybody these days thinks that they're a bad-ass
And how am I supposed to live in a world
with no Madeline Kahn my favourite girl is gone
And Bonnie Doon's is now an auto zone
31 is trashed and now I just want to be left alone

Global warming is ruining my fair complexion
Augmenting all my imperfections
And Brazil does not need more encouragement
Global warming encourages slack jawed troglodytes
To leave their homes with guns and knives
In search of bodily refreshments and some homicide

I'm so sick of hearing people talk about the sun
They sound like a bunch of Aztec Indians
And all they do is hang out clogging up the streets
Congratulating each other on their pedicured feet
Sure I like to see the fella's skateboard in their Vans
Stripped down to their shorts so they can work on their tans
I know I shouldn't care cause I'm a taken man
But I guess you can look, nobody said that you can't

Global warming is ruining my fair complexion
Augmenting all my imperfections
And Brazil does not need more encouragement
Global warming encourages slack jawed troglodytes
To leave their homes with guns and knives
In search of bodily refreshments and some homicide

All I've got are first world problems
I guess I better get some more third world kind