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Jakey

The Last Guardian (RAP REVIEW)

 

The Last Guardian (RAP REVIEW)


7 years
That's a long wait
To play a goddamn game
The hype train is of the tracks now
Wait, but how the hell did it turn out not great

I want to love you but I can't
Everytime I say jump you only stand
Even though you look so pretty
And goddamn that's a cute ass kitty (oh lord)
How can I make you understand?

They made some weird choices with the controls
The type of shit that really don't make no sense at all
And Shadow of the Colossus
You had a dedicated grab button, it was awesome
But in this everything is automatic so it's hard to dictate
Where the hell you wanna climb so it's time you've got to waste

I hate the way this crappy camera is always trying to face off
Face the facts of limitations but it's driving me insane

And it's the pruzzles that's a problem
It takes like 20 seconds and I solved em
But it takes like 20 minutes for this bird to fly straight
The only challenge in this game is for my patience not to break

It's just a shame
Because so many things are calling my name
The animation is incredible
The dog really comes alive
Atmosphere so thick you could cut it with a butter knife

It's not an awful game
There's moments I'm happy I played
But it feels like a big step back from the shadow that's already been made

I want to love you but I can't
Everytime I say jump you only stand
Even though you look so pretty
And goddamn that's a cute ass kitty (oh lord)
How can I make you understand?

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