Nine To Five

(Album: I Kill People - 2010)

What's a nine to five office job?
That sounds exactly like what I want
Young man, that is one party
you may not be able to handle

Nine to five, nine to five
Monday to Friday live
Nine to five, nine to five
Cubicles and neon lights
Nine to five, nine to five
Stay till six, get overtime
Nine to five, nine to five
We motherfucking love our lives

Wake up in the morning at six
Breakfast with the wife and kids
Pack yourself a lunch, a ham sandwich
A juice box and carrot sticks
Cafeteria food is expensive
It may not fit into your budget
Hop on the bus, public transit
Or carpool for the environment
Leave early in case there is traffic
Bring a news paper or your favourite music
John Mayer, Tim McGraw and Styx
And Jon Bon Jovi's greatest hits

Get to work at eight fifty five
Five minutes early, so you have the time
To pour yourself a coffee and say 'Hi'
To your coworkers, "Good morning, guys!"
Talk about the shows that were on last night
Or a sports event, if you're a guy
The boss walks in and says
"Look at the time, everybody get to work, it is nine"

Nine to five, nine to five
Bathroom break at 11:05
Nine to five, nine to five
Quality chairs that support the spine
Nine to five, nine to five
External calls, make sure to press nine
Nine to five, nine to five
We motherfucking love our lives

Photo copiers, fax machines
And casual Fridays, you get to wear jeans (Yay!)
How crazy is that, wearing jeans to work
On the tenth of every month wear Hawaiian shirts
Hawaiian shirt day, Hawaiian shirt day
Who said an office job wasn't a part-e
Health insurance, paid sick days
Bring baked goods to work on Tuesdays
Jill's muffins are always a hit
"What's the recipe Jill?" "They're from Costco..."
"Still, good choice." "Yeah, good choice, they're nice and squishy."

Staplers, keyboards, calculations
Work-related conversations
"Hey, did you get my work-related email?"
"Yes, I got your work-related email."
"Your Tron screensaver's really rad."
"Thanks, I like your Star Wars mouse pad."
"It was a gift from my dentist on my 30th birthday."
Clock strikes five, it's the end of the work day
Home by six, in bed by ten
Wake up and do it all over again

Nine to five, nine to five
Why do I always feel like crying?
Nine to five, nine to five
This is not what I dreamt of as a child
Nine to five, nine to five
Everyday someone commits suicide
Nine to five, nine to five
We motherfucking hate our lives