Gaydar

(Album: Comikaze - 2005)

So the say, when trying to meet someone
You should just not try to meet someone if you know what I mean
So I tried not to look desperate at the Sound Of Music sing-a-long
Clutching my curtain costume and my lyric sheet
You know I wanted some summer loving
And I wanted to be cool
But the fact is I was checking everybody out
Thinking maybe at the sing-a-long Sound Of Music
Oh God Kate, stop kidding yourself
But I was dressed as Liesel, he was dressed as Rolf
And our eyes locked across the sea of people
When we finally got to speak he told me he likes Annie second best
And he likes all the same songs as me

Oh woah woah
Why do I always go for the gay guys
You'd think by now I'd get some savvy
When God gave us gaydars She forgot about me
I end up settling
Who could it be?
Who could it be?
Who could it be?
Who could it be?
Who could it
Who could it
Who could it be?

Anyway
That guy I didn't know his orientation
And neither did he, well he didn't know it yet
So he asked me out and I said yes
I guess everything was perfect
Well, come to think of it
His friend would come on all of our dates
Insisted on sitting in the front seat so he could look in the mirror
My lover was a bigger prima donna than me
With better hair, better shoes, better nails
And some other stuff well let's just leave that there
Let's face it I can't see the appeal of a real man
Someone who I can count on, to program the video and change my towels
The truth is my idea of sexy
Is a guy who knows the words to Climb Every Mountain

Why do I always go for the gay guys
Oh what a hard-knock life for me
My stength is flailing in all directions
The wondertwin is failing me
Who could it be?
Who could it be?
Who could it be?
Who could it be?
Who could it
Who could it
Who could it be?

Anyway
One night I came out and asked him
He said he wasn't gay, he was just asexual
And I said "well what a relief"
"Well honey that's just great"
"I'm so glad we finally worked things out"
So my ex-boyfriend and I, we made a pact
If we-re still single when we're old and don't need sex anymore
We'll move in together and maybe get married
And go see all the musicals

Maybe this time
I'll get lucky
And feel that one, singular sensation again
Oh wouldn't it be lovely
If we're people who need people
Together, come what may
We'll be thinking happy thoughts and talk about things we like to do
Happy
(Why do I always go for the gay guys)
(Why do I always go for the gay guys)
(Why do I always go for the gay guys)