Dolores (Skit)

(Album: This Is Weird - 2020)

[Jermaine Fowler:]
Alright! Now, uh
Why don't you take a seat right there, Khare-y?
You know I've been meaning to ask you Care Bear
Do you believe in fate?
I believe, uh, fate brought you and I back together
You know?
And the reason fate brought us together
Is because the universe wanted me to show you
Just how well a nigga is doing
Alright?
You coulda had all this Khare-y
You coulda had all of it
You could've!
You'll never be better than me and these motherfucking interns
You wanna know why, Khare-y? 'Cause you're just a rapper!
You're just a rapper, nigga!
A'ight? You know what I am?
I'm a boss! I'm a fucking boss!
I got twenty-five interns ready to die for me, nigga
Ready to die!
I got one intern, she's seventy-five
She on her way out of life
She got nothing to show for it, but she work for me
Right, Dolores?
Right? Right?
Where you going, Khare-y?
Where you uncomfortable now?
You uncomfortable, Khare-y?
Well, go ahead and leave!
It wouldn't be the first time! [*crying*]
Why does everybody I love leave?
Why?
Answer me, fate!
Is this what you had in store for me? Huh?
God? Allah?
Buddha?
Tom Cruise?