Trippin With Dick Vitale

(Album: The Polyfuze Method - 1993)

Dum diti dum dang dang di dum
2 bums in an alley with a bottle of rum
1 bum said look Jack I'm the shit
Put his knees to his ears and sucked his own dick
My mothers crazy I think she sniffs glue
She never liked me and I know that's true
Kicked me out the crib because I got a tattoo
No one loves me and no one cares
And all I ever get is funny stares
I can't help it if I'm nothing but a wino
So I hang at the zoo chilling with the rhinos
Stealing bottles of booze out of A & P
I know a girl at Denny's and I always eat free
Got the same birth date as Thomas Crapper
For Christmas I bought the old man the Clapper
I'm so dapper you can call me Dan
But they call me 'round eye when I'm chilling in Japan
Got a bad ass bitch and she ain't no dike
But fuck that ho and let me tell ya what I like
I like bean burritos from Taco Bell
I like tripping on acid with Dick Vitale
My hair isn't plastic and my clothes aren't clashing
I write my rhymes on a schooner in a 90s' fashion
Took too many many trip and now I can's stop tripping
My mellow D. killed a rat in the kitchen
You think you toke tough I'd disagree
Nobody blows more doobs than Richard D
I get ill on hoes who I know ain't fertile
I'm a real jet setter like Cecil turtle
I'm down with Bill Bands so Fuck Joe Glover
And while I'm at it mother fuck fat ass Sally Struthers
You look fine girl kinda undercover
But I can't fuck you because you look like my mother
I said dang digee dang di dang dang
It isn't Eric Estrada or Kool and The Gang
You know I hand in the Clem chilling on the strip
With all them mother fuckers who slang that shit
You know I'm a pimp hold my dick like a holster
You sing it "All the girls want a Kid Rock poster"
Life is a big joke and that's how it strikes me
But fuck it because I know "Somebody up there likes me."
Assholes are only assholes, for sure