On Hold

(Album: Aphelion - 2021)

I am back here once again
In the mist, In the mist without sight
Thought I fought my way back
Now I'm afraid, I'm afraid to lose hope

Will I ever be the man
In control, in control of his world?
Open wounds that will not heal
Pull me back, pull me back inside

And I, I was always on the side
Of conformities and pride
Had no shelter from the rain

And I, I was always on the side
So I kept my little lie
To be safe from what may come

To be lonely inside of my thoughts
A state that I tend to avoid
But if I can't get to them I think no-one can

Moving forward nonetheless
I'm afraid this is how I've become

How can I sort it out, when I don't even know what I'm looking for?
If I only knew, then at least I could deal with it

I don't even have a plan
On how to move forward from here

And I, I was always on the side
Of conformities and pride
Had no shelter from the rain

And I, I was always on the side
So I kept my little lie
To be safe from what may come

All my life is on hold
In this moment
There's nothing here but darkness

My life is on hold
It's on hold
Until I've figured out this maze

I hold my breath and count to ten
Maybe then it will all go away
Distraction strategies may work
But only, only for so long

I, I was always on the side
Of conformities and pride
Had no shelter from the rain

I, I was always on the side
So I kept my little lie
To be safe from what may come come

And I, I was always on the side
Of conformities and pride
Had no shelter from the rain

My life is on hold
In this moment
There is nothing here but darkness

My life is on hold
It's on hold
Until I've figured out this maze

My life is on hold
In this moment
There is nothing here but darkness

My life is on hold
It's on hold
Until I've figured out this maze