Hangman

(Album: Deathreats - 2018)

This a warning for the ones who say they aren't afraid
Lately I've been coming from a darker place
I've been dealing with depression, I'm more dangerous than ever
I've been drinking again and never felt better
I swear to God that I'ma burn a bridge and piss on the flames
Mix the acid with some whiskey and spit it all in they face
My new girl probably flip if you've got something to say
She reminds me of myself when I would drink everyday
I used to feel like how I felt was just a temporary phase
But now I feel like the feelings are fucking feeding off fame
And I don't plan to slow down or give it a second to breathe
I push the pedal past the breaking point, I'm picking up speed

In 2016, swear I came apart at the seams
I was sacred of the dark and therefore afraid of my dreams
But I rebuilt what came apart with iron alloy and beams
Come fly a plane into my legs and I won't fall to my knees
Haven't taken any pills to calm me down for a month
I'm on the edge and I'm waiting for any reason to jump
Don't take it lightly, I'm excited when they throwing a punch
I got a list of different strategies to bury these bums
Very rarely do I carry all the weight of a grudge
But I been barely ordinary since the prairies and drugs
My imaginary friends and camouflaged with some guns
And I've been fairly military but my army is one

They've been passive aggressive with how the deal with my message
They lack the passion and reckless nature of truthful expression
They ain't made of what I'm made from, they been bruised up and dented
They don't understand the underhanded ruthless obsession
That I was born with, slammed like the door sticks
Closet full of skeletons, so heavy couldn't move them with a forklift
Your bitch probably fell in love 'cause you forced it
Now she bump my records while you deep inside a porn bitch
I woke up with a buzzing in my head
I don't wanna leave the comfort of my bed
A dozen missed calls from a dozen of my friends
And my day just started but it's coming to an end

Already getting dark, wake up with the stars
I don't even know how I got home after I left the bar, yeah
I did eight months sober, and I hate that it's over
But the weight on my shoulder started breaking my heart
I started out with one or two, and then I moved to three or four
And then I realized that I was back where I had been before
Ativan's gone missing from the bottle
Tell my doctor they were stolen, but I know that they were swallowed
Everything I ever did was always done with open throttles
All the way or nothing, non-commitment is a broken promise
And I know that that's a problem in itself
But you're living or you're dying or you're crying out for help, yeah

It's been a week since I've felt like me
I've been starving but I just can't eat
I'm exhausted but I can't find sleep, it's been harder than it's ever been
The darkness hasn't ever dimmed, the light's so bleak
I never understood what they meant when they said they were just
The shadows of men that they had been before they were beat
Now I know that everything I heard was for real
When I'm looking in the mirror at a shell of myself
I think that stress is a contributing factor
The being 28 and feeling older than dad does
The wrinkles on my face spreading faster and faster
If the good die young, I hope I'm one of the bad ones

The day's long, stay strong and try again tomorrow though
Even if you're running out of reasons to ignore the phone
Even if you're running out of gas, go and borrow more
Your demons knock the hardest when you finally chose to close the door
This not the way my parents raised me
I hope they realize they didn't fail one of their babies
This is the result of a declining social climate
That's original design was keeping people trapped inside it
Liquor and violence, we suffer in silence
Until we embrace one another and find our collective defiance
We'll topple the giants, I just try to smile though the crying
'Cause I know that someone, somewhere's, feeling way worse than I am

And that's true (that's true, that's true)