Bigfoot Left The Bay

(Album: Blockchain Planet - 2021)

I heard he quit his job at Facebook then he bounced
Left in the dead of night now no one knows his whereabouts
Sick of spreading misinformation to the masses so I'm told
So he pivoted directions guess disruption took its toll
And he's happier now, all his friends can see it in him
Taking selfies at Bluff Creek with Patterson and Gimlin
Plus I heard he's making zines with Larry Livermore
Recording with El Hefe he don't post much anymore
Camping by the Carson Mansion buying records in Arcata
Enrolled in Humboldt State he's been studying the Vedas
In the Marble Mountains boy scouts say he went and stole their sleeping bags
In Siskiyou County he's been banned from every laundromat
I heard they hired a look out at the Samoa Cookhouse
He'd been climbing through the window and everyone's shook now
He said that ever since Slim's closed, the Bay has never been the same
So he moved north to the 707, and that's where he remains

Does he call Happy Camp home? (No one really knows)
Giant footprints in the snow (What's the data show)
Is he rafting down the river, is he running through the trees?
Are you ready for the yeti? And these sasquatch mysteries
(Bigfoot left the bay, never coming back some say)
Oh oh, Sasquatch mysteries
Oh oh, Sasquatch mysteries
(Bigfoot left the bay, but I heard he's doing great)

I guess he was sick of Google, double parking buses in the Mission
And so he packed his bag, grabbed his snorkel and started swimming
All the way up the coast, till he camped at Shelter Cove
Some thought he was a humpback whale from the size of his giant toe
And I heard that there's a bounty on him in Mendocino County
'Cause he went to Point Arena clogged the toilets climbed the lighthouse
We have never smelt a cryptid with such a strong aroma
Passed through Petaluma ate more eggs than Baby Yoda
Some he's down with John Pound, start searching and maybe you'll
See him at Samoa beach with Romano Gabriel
And Mike Patton, Captain Beefheart undercover yeah, I'm telling ya
He's hiding in the dunes with his trout mask replica
I heard he's never coming back, and that he's feeling great
Doesn't miss I-80 traffic, doesn't miss the Golden Gate
In the Six Rivers splashing in the moonlight you might see hi
Or at the Morris Graves Museum ever weekend

Does he call Happy Camp home? (No one really knows)
Giant footprints in the snow (What's the data show)
Is he rafting down the river, is he running through the trees?
Are you ready for the yeti? And these sasquatch mysteries
(Bigfoot left the bay, never coming back some say)
Oh oh, Sasquatch mysteries
Oh oh, Sasquatch mysteries
(Bigfoot left the bay, but I heard he's doing great)

And no he's not verified on Instagram or Twitter
His YouTube stats are dismal and on TikTok he's no bigger
Ask him about engagement, he'll respond with laughter
The only streams he monitors are the ones that flow from Shasta
Plus he's been known to survive without Instagram Live
Not on Amazon Prime, no one spies on what he buys
Tell him that you made a track with The Doubleclicks for Spotify
That you pitched for playlist placements, he'll say "why?"

Very edgy Lars
Very meta. I see what you did there
Get it? Bigfoot was sick of the tired tech world of San Francisco
So he moved north to the Redwoods
That explains the chorus, I get it

Does he call Happy Camp home? (No one really knows)
Giant footprints in the snow (What's the data show)
Is he rafting down the river, is he running through the trees?
Are you ready for the yeti? And these sasquatch mysteries
(Bigfoot left the bay, never coming back some say)
Oh oh, Sasquatch mysteries
Oh oh, Sasquatch mysteries
(Bigfoot left the bay, but I heard he's doing great)