Fables Ain't Nothing But Doggone Lies

(Album: Blue Skies Black Heroes - 1988)

Uncle Josh's nephew was a student of letters, come home with a book one night
Said he to his uncle, "This is Aesop's fables and I don't understand it right
Will you kindly explain what it means by a fable, does it mean what I think it might?"
Uncle Josh's eyes looked extremely wise and thoughtfully he replied

Fables are stories often told in ordinary walks of life
Fables are stories that a wife tells a husband and a husband tells his wife
Fables are stories we really believe 'til somebody puts us right
In the olden days they called 'em fables but they're nothing' but doggone lies

Fables are stories told by candidates just before election day
Fables are stories told to the wife when her husband's far away
Fables are stories we really believe 'til somebody puts us right
In the olden days they called 'em fables but they nothing but doggone lies

Now they tell us that Adam was the husband of Eve, he was the first with the Lord's consent
Now we can't deny there was no other person to give him an argument
He was made outta mud by a fence that stood there 'til the Lord come and give him sense
But what puzzles me most and I'd like to know, who in the dickens built that fence?

Fables are stories when a girl of sixteen may tell you that she never been kissed
Fables are stories when a just-arrived sailor sees just how bad he's missed
Fables are stories that eyes can tell when eye looks into eye
In the olden days they called 'em fables but they're nothing but doggone lies