When I'm Older

(album: Shtick Heads - 2014)

When I'm old will I still say shit?
When I'm old will I still look at porn? A little bit.
Will I still have sex?
Correction, try and have sex with a flaccid erection.
Wearing a dumb cap, doing shitty rap.
Maybe I'll be fucking awesome and get papped.
Rolling in a jaguar, popping the Viagra.
Fella's ya jealous, my ladies make me look like Hefner.

I wake up different girl each time.
I don't know her name though, Alzheimer's.
I wake up different girl each time.
Oh shit I've done the same bit again, Alzheimer's.

The Midnight Beast still raise the roof.
Still getting clocked for the Tik Tok spoof.
Sixty years old, still going strong.
I'd still be dancing, but my backs gone.

Na na na na na, when I'm older.
Na na na na na, when I'm older.
We'll still get intoxicated.
Everyday inebriated.

I'm dead.
Just kidding!
How else would you hear me dummy?
I'm an antique, start bidding.
The other pensioners look at me funny.
Cause they know, I know I'm in town, crashing a party.
Back of the club, horlicks, Bacardi.
Never go home, granddaughters unhappy.
Keep going when I fill up my nappy.

When I'm old will I play donkey kong?
Sitting in my armchair, sparking a bong.
It's for glaucoma, not an addiction.
Ask the doctor, it's prescription!
When I'm old will I eat at hooters?
Pull up getting head on a mobility scooter?
Still playing FIFA, smoking the reefa.
Gramps on tour getting wankered in Beefa!

Na na na na na, when I'm older.
Na na na na na, when I'm older.
Still getting bat-shit wasted.
Then getting resuscitated.

When I'm old will I still look fly?
Kissing them girls, making them cry?
Still! Got the guns.
Still! Got the eyebrows.
What I'm fit? There's no need to lie now.
Playing bowls, back of the car park.
Gambling money.
Buying Chino's in Primark.
When I'm old will I still have orgys?
Young women, in their early forties?

Half blind, half deaf.
The ladies love me I'm a.. G.Y.L.F.
Grandad you'd like to (shhh).
Let's have a game of strip, chess.
The ladies love me cause I..
Still got the libido, still rocking speedos.
Banned from the pool cause I look like a peado!
But I'm not a peado! I'm honestly not a peado!

Na na na na na, when I'm older!