discombobulated

(album: flowers ep - 2018)

Life has got me feeling discombobulated, in place of common phrases
All I say are awkward statements in every conversation
Often sitting cautious, pacing, dropping frames in talks with strangers
Making observations, in that awful cadence
I've been rather quiet since a sophomore
Every time my voice comes out my mouth, it sounds like nails on a chalkboard
Saving pieces shattered as my age increases faster
I can make my thesis matter if I learn to fucking talk more

But that's just an inkling, small talk is always shrinking
And this ship will always sink until we fill in all the gaps
I've made some dumb decisions and evaded inhibitions
Digging graves for my ambitions just to make it on the map
Which seems ironic at present, given my title
Periodically stepping through this recital
I've practiced a thousand times, messaging with my idols
And definitely sounding like a dumbass when I try tho

I treat a soundcloud page like a diary
And push away all the people who inspire me-sorry
So afraid of the person I should try to be
And it seems, by now, they should kinda be sorry