New Face Deli

(album: Theater Of The Mind - 1986)

[Intro:]
Good evening, this is Ted Cop-out. Tonight we're visiting the Grand Order of the Plastic Purgence of America. They're about to change the look of the world... oh, shh! I think they're about to begin, Dr. Sinus is out
(I can't believe it, my goodness!)
(shh, shhh!)

[Dr. Sinus:] I'd like to bring this meeting to order. First on our agenda is a need to determine, what is to be our target group. The floor recognizes doctor...
[Dr. Eyemonger:] Oh geez, I wanna go first this time!
[Dr. Kissable Lips:] You always let him speak first, come on!
(Oh please, every year it's the same thing.)
[Dr. Sinus:] We'll get back to uh, dr. Kissable Lips, possible next century.
[discontent and whining in the background]
[Dr. Kissable Lips:] Okay...
[Dr. Sinus:] Yes, doctor um... doctor Eyemonger, I think you have something to say
[Dr. Eyemonger:] Oh thank you, of course it's me, of course it's me. Well, of course the eyes...
[Dr. Sinus:] Please get to the point
[Dr. Eyemonger:] The eyes are it, we've gotta have straight eyes to see, or we know we'd have to...
[booing starts] Boring! (Knew what he was gonna say...)
[Dr. Sinus:] Let's hear from dr. Slice
[Dr. Slice:] Actually, the most important thing we have to deal with, is change and rearrange
(Hear, hear!) (mhm)
[Unnamed Doctor:] Oh, I see what... well, who's to be the target group?
[Dr. Slice:] The artists. (Aaah!)
[Unnamed Doctor:] Oh! Brilliant, dr. Slice, absolutely brilliant!
(Absolutely, very clever...)
[Unnamed Doctor:] With the videos and everything, the children are so easily influenced by the musicians! (Hm, very good!) And they won't even know, that it's not their face!
[short, evil laughter]
[Unnamed Doctor #2:] So, what part of the anatomy should we attack first?
[All Doctors:] The nose!

This is Ted Cop-out, live from the New Face Deli. Just when you thought it was safe to look in the mirror...
(AAAAAAAAHHH!)

Look close (close, close...), that nose on their face ain't the same

Who said big nose was ugly?
What makes a thin nose in?
The price you pay to discover
Oops, done changed your face again

Mirror, mirror on the wall (mirror, mirror)
The truth is what you see
Don't be controlled by someone else's wiew
What's right for me won't fit you

The New Face Deli is open
Pick a face, don't you wanna change?
The New Face Deli is open
Get your mind rearranged

1. I'd like one nose job with wide nostrils to go, please
2. Ah, could you give me a face lift? Hold the wrinkles, buddy
3. I think I want these lips a little wider
4. Uh, uh, uh, I'd like to get, um, two cheeks with no cheese, please
(Changing, rearranging, child, ah yes sir)

Who said big nose was ugly?
What makes a thin nose in?
The price you pay to discover
Oops, done changed your face again

Well, I'm ordering some, um, beef on them buns, baby?
Ey man, wait a minute. You're in the wrong song, man!
What...? You mean, this ain't burger thing?
Don't you know I'm that fella, heard?