Vegan Velociraptor

(album: Stairway To Valhalla - 2018)

He drives his eco-friendly Tesla Motors police-tank
Non-disposable hero, in a cloak made of hemp
Lethal cereal killer completely sugar free
Drowning enemies in pots of herbal tea

It's known that a lentil-based diet
Is the cause of a strong flatulence
His bum pollutes with CO2
So bears abandon the arctic too
And deserve it 'cause they eat fish anyway

Ah! Vegan velociraptor
Broccolini hunter, saviour of the environment
Ah! Vegan velociraptor
Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain

Sheriff of the livestock against animal abuse
Replacing choco milkshakes with lime and carrot juice
But he's got to be careful when patrolling the town
As the carnivorous cow's lurking around

In league with the Bacon Street Boys
She feeds cattle with meat and steroids
Blended with opium and bamboo
Bovines become addicted too
Turning into narco-prostitutes

Ah! Vegan velociraptor
You zucchini butcher, mother nature's playful friend
Ah! Vegan velociraptor
Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain

On a bad day took place a very bad thing
As this very bad cow and her very bad crew
Very impolitely raped a young groundhog
Named George W. Sanchez

There came Gargamellor the moderate T-Rex,
Complaining 'bout the gang's inappropriate ways
But the evil bovines went berserk and devoured him alive

Mild Gargamellor! Polite Gargamellor!
Taxpayer Gargamellor! "Cowfood" Gargamellor!

George W. Sanchez! Poor bullying victim
George W. Sanchez! Your ass bled for us all
George W. Sanchez...

Damn you, I'll-bred evildoers
I hereby declare you under arrest
You killed my friend Gargamellor
And impolitely raped Herr W. Sanchez
You have the right to remain silent
You have the right to an attorney,
Anything you say can and will be used
Against you in a court of law

I'll extinct you, filthy dromaeosaurid,
Your days are numbered, you're about to die!
You entered the wrong jurisdiction,
'Cause the law enforced here is the Bill Of Rights
That grants the right to rape a groundhog (impolitely)
Or grants the right to eat a T-Rex
But grants the right to do both of the above
If one is called George W. Sanchez!

That said the cow launched her assault
Hitting his throat with a turbo-flying kick
VV was counterattacking
Firing with bullets made out of soy beans

Until the cow took a secret potion, to prevail over the dinosaur

A mixture of prions and elephant scurf that made her... Invincible!

Contracting "Mad Cow Disease" and hence being
Slaughtered by the FDA authorities

Still drives an eco-friendly Tesla Motors police-tank
The vice mayor promoted him to a prestigious rank
Lieutenant of seitan brigadier of seeds
Feldmarshall of the cruelty free recipes

His macrobiotic meals
Enriched with proteinic pills
Drowned in a sea of rice and soy
Fill everyone with peace and joy
But not Sanchez, still bleeding from his ass

Ah! Vegan velociraptor
Slaughterer of eggplants, Jurassic animalist
Ah! Vegan velociraptor
Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain
Ah! Vegan velociraptor
Broccolini hunter, saviour of the environment
Ah! Vegan velociraptor
Fighting speciesism and reversing the food chain

Here comes the meteorite!