Grandpa's Interview

(album: Greendale - 2003)

"grandpa here's your coffee,"
Said edith as she filled his cup,
"nobody'll find you here
And earl is glad you guys showed up

The way things are downtown
You might have to stay for a while
There was a helicopter flying over your house
When i talked to your neighbor kyle"

"who the hell do they think they are?
Invading our home like that
Grandma and i had to leave so fast
We couldn't even catch the cat

The helicopter scared the shit out of it
And it took off down the trail
Down past the railroad track
Towards the county jail"

"jed you really screwed up now
What'd you have to do that for?
Everybody wants to hang your ass
Here's a note from lenore"

She touched the cold steel bars
As she pushed the paper in
Jed took it up and read it
And couldn't hide a grin

Outside the jail window
A crow flew across the sky
Completely disappearing behind each bar
Then a helicopter flew by

"say hi to earl and edith
Tell'em i'm doing fine
Tell'em you're ready to leave home now
And they should cut the line

Can grandma come and see me?
I've got a new song to sing
It's longer than all the others combined
And doesn't mean a thing"

The noise was unfamiliar...
A walkie talkie squealed
Generators were running
Vans parked in the field

Tv crews and cameras
They wanted to interview grandpa on the porch
They came through the gate and up on the lawn
Knocking down edith's tiki torch

Grandpa saw them there
Looking through the venetian blind
"those people don't have any respect
So they won't get any of mine

I ain't gonna talk about jed...
I don't watch channel 2 or 6 or 9
I don't have time to talk that fast
And it ain't my crime

It ain't an honour to be on tv
And it ain't a duty either
The only good thing about tv
Is shows like 'leave it to beaver'

Shows with love and affection
Like mama used to say
A little mayberry living
Can go a long way"

He took earl's gun from the closet
And loaded up both barrels
Went out on the porch and fired them off
And up walked a woman named carol

"susan carol from early magazine
I've got some questions to ask"
"well you can stick 'em where the sun don't shine,"
Grandpa said with a gasp

Then he fell face first and let out a sigh
Edith came out in shock
Grandpa was whispering to her from down on the floor
He looked like he was trying to talk

"that guy who just keeps singing
Can't somebody shut him up?
I don't know for the life of me
Where he comes up with this stuff"

They laid his head on a newspaper
With a picture of carmichael on the front page
Posing with a little league baseball team
And a seedy shot of jed with a motorcycle.

Grandpa died like a hero
Fighting for freedom of silence
Trying to stop the media
Trying to be anonymous

Share your loving and you'll live so long
Share your loving and you'll live so long
Share your loving and you'll live so long
Live so long