The Search

(album: The Search - 2019)

Hey Nate, how's life?
I don't know, it's alright
I've been dealing with some things like every human being
And really didn't sleep much last night (Last night)

I'm sorry, that's fine
I just think I need a little me time
I just think I need a little free time
Little break from the shows and the bus rides, yeah (Bus rides)

Last year I had a breakdown
Thoughts telling me I'm lost, getting too loud
Had to see a therapist and I found out
Something funny's going on up in my house

Yeah, started thinking maybe I should move out
You know, pack my cart, take a new route
Clean up my yard, get the noose out
Hang up my heart, let it air out (Air out)

I've been searching
What does that mean, Nate?
I've been learning
Grabbing my keepsakes, leaving my burdens
Well, I brought a few with me, I'm not perfect

Looking at the view like this concerns me
Picking up the cues, right? I'm quite nervous
Hate it when I lose sight, life gets blurry
And things might hurt me
It's probably gonna be a long journey, but hey! (But hey!)

It's worth it though
Cold world out there, kids, grab your coats
Been a minute, I know, now I'm back to roam
Looking for the antidote to crack the code

Pretty vivid; I admit it, I'm in classic mode
Don't need pity given to me but I can't condone
Talking down to me, I'ma have to crack your nose for cracking jokes
I'm looking for the map to hope, you seen it? (You seen it?)

Been making a whole lot of changes
Wrote a song about that, you should play it
I get scared when I walk on these stages
I look at the crowd and see so many faces, yeah

That's when I start to get anxious
That's when my thoughts can be dangerous
That's when I put on my make-up and drown in self-hatred
Forget what I'm saying, and
Where'd the beat go?

Oh, ain't that somethin'?
Drums came in, you ain't see that coming
Hands on my head, can't tell me nothing
Got a taste of the fame, had to pump my stomach

Throw it back up like I don't want it
Wipe my face, clean up my vomit
OCD, tryna push my buttons
I said don't touch it, now y'all done it

I can be critical, never typical
Intricate with every syllable, I'm a criminal
Intimate, but never political, pretty visual
Even if you hate it, I'll make it feel like you're in it though

You call me what you wanna, but never call me forgettable
Leave you deep in thought, I could never swim in the kiddie pool
Way that I been thinking this cinematic is beautiful
Man, I don't know if I'm making movies or music videos (videos, videos)

Yeah, the sales can rise
Doesn't mean much though when your health declines
See, we've all got something that we trapped inside
That we try to suffocate, you know, hoping it dies

Try to hold it underwater but it always survives
Then it comes up out of nowhere like an evil surprise
Then it hovers over you to tell you millions of lies
You don't relate to that? Must not be as crazy as I am

The point I'm making is the mind is a powerful place
And what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way
It's pretty cool, right? Yeah, but it's not always safe
Just hang with me, this'll only take a moment, OK?

Just think about it for a second, if you look at your face
Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great
You'll never be great—not because you're not, but the hate
Will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith (Woo!)

I am developing, take a look at the benefits
Nothing to meddle with, I can never be delicate
Am I even relevant? That depends how you measure it
Take a measurement, then bag it up and give me the evidence

It's pretty evident; dependable can never be tentative
I'm a gentleman, depending on if I think you're genuine
Pretty elegant but not afraid to tell you to get a grip
Proper etiquette, I keep it to myself when I celebrate, ah!

It's that time again
Better grab your balloons and invite your friends
Seatbelts back on, yeah, strap 'em in
Look at me, everybody, I'm smiling big

On a road right now that I can't predict
Tell me "Tone that down", but I can't resist
Y'all know that sound, better raise your fists
The search begins, I'm back, so enjoy the trip, huh (Huh, huh)