O'Malley's Bar, Pt. 1

(album: B-Sides & Rarities - 2005)

Ahhh oh, my God
Oh, my God
They shot him in the motherfucking head

I am tall and I am thin
Of an enviable height
And I've been known to be quite handsome
From a certain angle and a certain light

Well I entered into O'Malley's
Said, "O'Malley, I have a thirst"
O'Malley, he looked right through me
Said, "Some other fellow first"

I knocked on the bar and pointed
To a bottle on the shelf
Well, O'Malley walked past and scratched his ass
And I twitched and crossed myself

My hand decided that it had enough
And for a moment it slipped from view
When it returned, my hand had learned
A brand new trick or two

Well the thunder from my big black gun
Made all the glasses jangle
When I shot him, I was so handsome
It was the light, man, it was the angle

"Neighbours!" I cried, "Friends!" I screamed
I banged my fist upon the bar
I just shot old O'Malley
And my dick felt long and hard

I am the man who waits for no-one
My aim is straight and true
And I'm marked by darkness and by blood
So don't nobody move!

Well, you know those fish with the swollen lips
That clean the ocean floor
When I looked at poor O'Malley's wife
That's exactly what I saw

I jammed the barrel under her chin
And her eyes bulged just like those nasty little fish
Her head, it landed in the sink
With all the dirty dishes

And her dirty little daughter Siobhan
Who we all had a little fun with
It seemed a bit unfair that she had to be there
So I thought I'd get her over and done with

I lept upon her, punching
She stared on in disbelief
Looking like the Madonna on the church-house wall
Painted in whale's blood and banana leaf

Left hook, right hook, left hook, right
She spun round and round
I brought a mighty punch up from the floor
And I lifted her off the ground

Her head caved in like a melon
And my fists were gloved in gore
And I shot Counselor Caffrey in the back of the head
As he made a run for the door

Oh, my God
Oh, my God
He just shot him in the motherfucking head