I Can Cook Too

(album: The Real Me - 1988)

Oh, I can cook, too, on top of the rest
My seafood's the best in the town
And I can cook, too
My fish can't be beat
My sugar's the sweetest around
I'm a man's ideal of a perfect meal
Right down to the demi-tasse
I'm a pot of joy for a hungry boy
Baby, I'm cooking with gas
Oh, I'm a gumdrop
A sweet lollipop
A brook trout right out of the brook
And what's more, baby, I can cook!

Some girls make magazine covers
Some girls keep house on a dime
Some girls make wonderful lovers
But what a lucky find I'm
I'd make a magazine cover
I do keep house on a dime
I make a wonderful lover
I should be paid overtime!

'Cause I can bake, too, on top of the lot
My oven's the hottest you'll find
Yes, I can roast too
My chickens just ooze
My gravy will lose you your mind
I'm a brand new note
On a table d'hôte
But just try me à la carte
With a single course
You can choke a horse
Baby, you won't know where to start!
Oh, I'm an hors d'oeuvre
A jelly preserve
Not in the recipe book
And what's more, baby, I can cook!

Baby, I'm cooking with gas
Oh, I'm a gumdrop
A sweet lollipop
A brook trout right out of the brook
And what's more, baby, I can cook!

Some girls make wonderful jivers
Some girls can hit a high "C"
Some girls make good taxi drivers
But what a genius is me
I'd make a wonderful jiver
I even hit a high "C"
I make the best taxi driver
I rate a big Navy "E"!

'Cause I can fry, too, on top of the heap
My Crisco's as deep as a pool
Yes, I can broil, too
My ribs get applause
My lamb chops will cause you to drool
For a candied sweet
Or a pickled beet
Step up to my smorgasbord
Walk around until
You get your fill
Baby, you won't ever be bored!
Oh, I'm a paté
A marron glacé
A dish you will wish you had took
And what's more, baby, I can cook!